Healing Through Gratitude: The Complete Guide

Healing Through Gratitude: The Complete Guide

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Gratitude-Colored Glasses

Are you familiar with the phrase “rose-colored glasses”? It’s used to describe a person who sees the world in a romanticized way, focusing only on the positive and failing to acknowledge any problems, perhaps leading to an unrealistically optimistic outlook on life.

On the flip side, sometimes when things aren’t going our way or we’re struggling with our mental health, we tend to look at things through a negative lens. We’re already expecting and accepting the worst. Even if something good were to happen, we might not even recognize it because our brains are trained to see the worst in any given scenario.

During these times especially, it is important to keep perspective. By looking at things through a lens of gratitude, we can more clearly see that while it may not be all good, it’s not all bad either. And there are always things to be grateful for. 

Putting on “gratitude-colored glasses” allows us to see the whole picture and to have a more positive outlook on life. We don’t ignore our problems; we simply allow gratitude to coexist with them.

We can identify our stressors and acknowledge our feelings while still giving thanks for our blessings. Rewiring the brain for positivity in this way makes us more resilient and better able to handle life’s difficulties with grace.

But it can be difficult to know where to start and exactly how to express gratitude in an effectual way. In this post, I will help you to:

-Identify Your Stressors,
-Name Your Emotions, and
-List Your Blessings

Only when you’re aware of the stressors in your life and the emotions that they stir up in you is it possible to heal with directed gratitude. It is my hope that these simple stress relief strategies will assist you in healing through gratitude and taking care of your mental health.

*All worksheets in this blog post + more are listed in my Kofi-shop. 🙂

Identify Your Stressors

Identifying the cause of your stress is the first step to managing it. When you know what your triggers are, you can avoid them or minimize their effects. Self-discovery and self-care go hand in hand.

Knowing your core values gives insight into why certain things stress you out. For example, if fitness is one of your core values, then missing workouts or allowing yourself to get out of shape could be causing you undue stress.

And knowing what helps you to combat the negative effects of those stressors gives you the power to protect your mental and physical health. For example, getting back into an exercise routine may help to alleviate that stress.   

Can you identify the causes of your stress? There are various sources of stress, but at the end of the day, we’re all human. So, no matter how different we might be, we still face common challenges in life.

Stress, “the silent killer”, is the root cause of countless physical and mental illnesses. In fact, the greater your stress load, the greater your chances of developing a stress-related illness.

The Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SSRS), also known as the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, is a self-assessment tool designed to help you determine the level of stress you are under. The higher your score, the more urgent it is for you to mitigate your stress levels in order to protect your mental and physical health. 

If you want to take the Stress Assessment, I’ve created a worksheet and it’s linked below along with a Stress Tracker Worksheet.

*It is important to note that this assessment does not account for individual stress tolerance as well as other variables and should not be relied upon as medical diagnosis or advice. 

Although there are countless specific causes of stress that vary from person to person, there are four main causes of stress for adults:

1.Death or illness/injury: This includes death of loved ones, debilitating injuries, chronic pain, illnesses (including those of loved ones, especially if you are a caretaker), and mental health issues.

2. Role change/new chapter in life: This includes school, retirement, getting married or divorced, having children, getting a new job, and moving.

3. Money/Work: This includes poverty, living paycheck to paycheck, debt, lack of sufficient income, unemployment, unsatisfaction with job/career, and lack of fulfillment when it comes to work.

4. Relationships: This includes interpersonal conflict, betrayal, break-ups, divorce, estrangement, and any sort of dysfunction in relationships.

Self-care is vital to managing stress. In addition to noticing what’s stressing you out, also notice what helps to calm you down. It may be necessary to set some healthy personal boundaries.

What works for one situation might not work in another, and techniques that you don’t think would work for you in theory may end up being the most effective in practice. Keep track of what works and what doesn’t so you can respond to stressors with your “go-to” activities.

Name Your Emotions

Maybe you’ve heard of the saying “name it to tame it”. It’s a simple stress relief technique that involves labeling your emotions as they arise. Naming your emotions helps to remind you that you are not your emotions, and your emotions are only temporary.

Keep in mind that even though some emotions may be more pleasant to experience than others, they are not inherently good or bad. Rather, all emotions are just feedback from our brain. We should be using that information to help ourselves, and not allow our emotions to override our rationality.

On a physiological level, when you name your emotion, you are engaging the left-brain (the side of the brain in charge of logic and language) and taming the right-brain (the side in charge of processing emotions).

Given the complex nature of feelings and emotions, it’s not always easy to identify the specific emotion you are feeling. For example, you may feel disgusted and angry with someone, but you may not be able to label that emotion as “contempt”. Simply do the best you can as you increase your emotional vocabulary.

There are six primary emotions from which all others flow: 1. Joy, 2. Sadness, 3. Fear, 4.  Anger, 5. Disgust, and 6. Surprise.

Here are some examples of more specific emotions falling under the categories of the first five primary emotions:

Joy

• Loving
• Thankful
• Peaceful
• Excited
• Amused
• Accepted
• Proud
• Liberated
• Confident
• Important
• Playful
• Inspired
• Curious
• Courageous
• Interested
• Amazed
• Optimistic
• Trusting
• Creative
• Intimate
• Valued
• Free

Sadness

• Hurt
• Guilty
• Ashamed
• Lonely
• Bored
• Tired
• Isolated
• Powerless
• Remorseful
• Abandoned
• Apathetic
• Vulnerable
• Fragile
• Grief-stricken
• Victimized
• Uninterested
• Overwhelmed

Fear

• Helpless
• Anxious
• Insecure
• Discouraged
• Rejected
• Persecuted
• Worried
• Inferior
• Excluded
• Inadequate
• Nervous
• Weak
• Confused
• Threatened
• Exposed

Anger

• Hurt
• Selfish
• Critical
• Jealous
• Irritated
• Threatened
• Frustrated
• Distant
• Suspicious
• Violated
• Hateful
• Bitter
• Betrayed
• Indignant
• Let down
• Offended
• Provoked

Disgust

• Disappointed
• Judgmental
• Revulsed
• Contemptuous
• Disapproving
• Ashamed
• Resentful
• Appalled
• Nauseated
• Embarrassed 

Here is the List of Emotions printable PDF:

Train Your Brain

As neuroscience teaches us, our brains are not set in stone. The way you see the world can change and grow throughout our entire life, thanks to neuroplasticity.  So, even if you have never engaged in gratitude practices before, you can still reap all the rewards of expressing gratitude regularly.

The more you do it, the more you will strengthen the neural connections that support an attitude of gratitude and rewire the ones that lead to negative thinking ruts. Meaning, you can literally change your brain and yourself.

In determining whether something is real or imagined, our brains look to how vividly we experienced something. But the brain encodes the vividness of both real and imagined stimuli in a similar way, thus making it difficult to tell the difference between reality and imagination (especially if you have a really good imagination). So, the more vividly you imagine something, the more it emphasizes the importance of that thing to your brain.

• Linger on Feelings of Gratitude

When it comes to healing through gratitude, think about experiences rather than just things you own. Zoom in on a positive experience that you are grateful for. Set 5 minutes aside to write about it. Relive the experience as you write about it. Feel as if you are in the moment again and visualize the events in great detail. Linger on your feelings of gratitude.

Blessings in disguise: Try doing this with negative experiences as well. Oftentimes, experiences that were not pleasant to go though in the moment still leave us with lessons for the future and opportunities to improve our character. We can feel gratitude for those lessons and opportunities.

• Practice Meditation

Meditation stills the mind. Instead of aimlessly jumping from thought to thought and being mindlessly reactive, we can regulate our thoughts and emotions. It helps us to be aware of our thoughts without judging them or allowing them to stick. This creates a sense of inner peace and a deeper connection to gratitude.

Meditation also has numerous health benefits, including lowered stress, better chronic pain management, increased concentration, elevated energy, improved sleep, decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression, lowered blood pressure, strengthened immune system function, improved memory, increased self-awareness, and enhanced mood.

In fact, a recent study at Georgetown found that a mindfulness-based stress reduction program was as effective as the use of an antidepressant in treating anxiety disorders.

By practicing meditation even for just 5 minutes a day, we can improve our mental health and our lives as a whole. You can incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life while doing everyday activities like breathing, eating, and showering. 

Try some types of meditation to see what works for you; there are so many, but to name a few: mindful mediation, guided meditation, transcendental meditation, walking meditation, vipassana meditation, metta/loving-kindness meditation, focused breathing, visualization meditation, mantra meditation, yoga meditation.

• Notice Your Negative Thoughts and Reframe Them Through the Lens of Gratitude

You are not your thoughts. Which means that whenever you have any thought, you can step to the side and look at it for what it is --- simply an idea or opinion produced by unconscious brain function.

So, when you have a negative thought, pause to acknowledge it, and then consciously reframe that thought through the filter of gratitude. For example, if you think, “I hate my life”, disrupt that negative thought and replace it with a grateful thought like, “Things aren’t perfect, but I love and appreciate many things about my life, including ____ (my pets, my freedom, my health, etc.)”.

Replace negative self-talk with gratitude. For example, if you think, “I’m a failure”, replace that thought with, “Failure is success in progress; I have learned valuable lessons from this trial.”  When Thomas Edison failed continuously at his attempts to create the lightbulb, he famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Or for example if you think, “I’m so behind on this goal”, replace that thought with acknowledgement and gratitude for all the little wins you’ve had along the way that you may have overlooked.

In your healing through gratitude journey, watch out for cognitive distortions. Our brains tend to give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones due to an inherent negativity bias. We can overcome these cognitive distortions (all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, etc.) by keeping things in perspective and filtering our experiences through the lens of gratitude.

Why Gratitude Works (Scientifically Proven)

By making your gratitude practice a habit, you are literally rewiring your brain to focus on the positive. Researchers have found that expressing gratitude is also linked to a multitude of health benefits, including:

• improved sleep
• reduced depression and anxiety
• fewer aches and pains
• increased self-esteem
• enhanced empathy, and
• improved overall well-being

According to a recent research study, gratitude writing is not only beneficial for well-functioning people, but also for those struggling with mental health concerns.

In that study, participants were divided into three groups – one group wrote a letter of gratitude to someone each week, the second group wrote about their thoughts and feelings regarding negative experiences, and the third group did not participate in a writing activity. All three groups received counseling services.

Those in the gratitude writing group reported significantly better mental health in the weeks following the study, as compared to the other two groups.

Even those who didn’t actually send their letters to the intended recipient -only 23 percent did - experienced the benefits of expressing gratitude. So, you don’t have to actually thank someone personally in order to heal through gratitude; it’s enough to express your gratitude in a private journal.

Furthermore, even when a gratitude practice is brief, it has lasting effects on the brain. When the researchers in this study compared the brain activity of those who wrote gratitude letters to those who did not, they showed more activation in the medial prefrontal cortex even three months after the letter writing.

But writing a thank you letter isn’t the only way to experience the benefits of gratitude. Expressing gratitude in any way lowers stress hormones in the body and compels our brain to release dopamine and serotonin, the body’s “feel good” chemicals. It contributes to happiness and contentment with life no matter the external circumstances – a natural anti-depressant.

Count Your Many Blessings, Name Them One by One

When I was little, my mother used to often tell me to count my blessings. That advice has remained pertinent in my adult life; the simple act of counting my blessings has helped me get through some pretty stressful situations.

It’s not always easy to see the silver lining when you’re in the middle of a storm. Focusing on your blessings can help keep things in perspective when it seems like they’re spiraling out of control.

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to many ailments. Try directing your attention to all the blessings in your life and see if you don’t feel better about your situation.

Also, focusing on your blessings multiplies them; energy flows where attention goes. So, the more you feel and express gratitude for all your many blessings, the more blessings you will have to be grateful for.

It can be difficult to know exactly how to express your gratefulness other than just thinking about what you’re grateful for. So, here are some gratitude activities to provide you with some direction and an outlet for your feelings of gratitude.

• Gratitude Log:

Something I started doing for myself was keeping a log of all the little things for which I am grateful. It helps to write things down as soon as they happen, so you don’t forget. Try writing just one thing per day or whenever something happens. In this book, you can also include breakout pages dedicated to reliving experiences and lingering on gratitude like we talked about earlier in this post.

• Gratitude Activities:

These healing through gratitude activities will help train your brain to linger on the positive things in life, however small, and remind you to take nothing for granted.

Gratitude Journal Prompts:

When expressing gratitude, it can help to have some prompts. (Ex: I am grateful for this blessing in disguise: ______, I am grateful for this simple pleasure: _________, I am grateful for this test of character: ______, etc.)  You could spread these gratitude journal prompts out over time or write down one thing you are grateful for every day for 30 days in a row (30-day gratitude challenge!).

Here are the Gratitude Worksheets in printable PDF form:

Bible Verses for Gratitude (and All Kinds of Emotions)

“Count Your Blessings” is a beautiful hymn that reminds us to remain steadfast through life’s challenges, knowing that God is over all:

Verse 1: When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed, When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Chorus: Count your many blessings, name them one by one, Count your many blessings, see what God hath done, Count your blessings, name them one by one, Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.

Verse 2: Are you ever burdened with a load of care? Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear? Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly, And you will keep singing as the days go by.

Verse 3: When you look at others with their lands and gold, Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold; Count your many blessings-money cannot buy Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

Verse 4: So, amid the conflict whether great or small, Do not be discouraged, God is over all; Count your many blessings, angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Regardless of your religious beliefs, The Bible is a wellspring of inspirational quotes and encouragement. There are scriptures for just about every situation you could go through and every emotion that you feel; there are bible verses for encouragement, hard times, anxiety, healing, gratitude, etc.

I often look to The Bible for strength during times of hardship, but it’s important to pray in times of joy and abundance, not only in times of need. Think about your relationships with people – in healthy relationships, you’re there for each other through the ups and the downs, celebrating during the wins and consoling during the losses. It should be that way with God too (or whatever higher power you believe in).

This color-coded Bible Verse Jar is a fun activity to help you on your spiritual journey. Here’s how it works: color-coded bible verses for every emotion are placed inside of a jar (example: Joyful=yellow, Sad=blue, Angry=peach, Scared=pink, Thankful=green).

When you are feeling joyful, sad, angry, scared, or thankful, pick a piece of paper with the corresponding color and read that bible verse.

DIY Scripture Jar

The “Do It Yourself” (DIY) Bible Verse Jar is a fun and inexpensive craft you can do that does not take much time. Create your own scripture jar by printing out the bible verses on colored paper, cutting them into strips, folding them, and placing them inside a jar.

This bundle has everything (except paper) that you need to make your own bible verse jar for emotions: printable bible verses for jar, color code key, and jar label.

This is the paper I used for my Bible Verse Jar. You can buy it from Amazon, I've included the link below: 

DFY Scripture Jar

If you don't want to make this yourself, you can purchase it ready-made! The "Done for You" (DFY) Scripture Jar makes a thoughtful gift. And with 70 bible verses, it truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Color-Coded Bible Verses for Emotions 

Here are the categories and bible verses – I’ve chosen to use the NIV translation for this project. If you’re doing this yourself, feel free to come up with different categories (it doesn’t have to be these emotions, or even emotions at all!) and/or bible verses.

1. Joyful (Lively Lemon) 2. Sad (Breezy Blue) 3. Angry (Punchy Peach) 4. Scared (Bubble Gum) 5. Thankful (Merry Mint) 6. Surprise Me! (White)

Joyful

• This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
• But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. Psalm 5:11
• But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
• Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:16-18       
• Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4
• You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11  
• Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.1 Peter 1:8-9
• I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
• The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. Psalm 19:8
• May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13                                                                 

Sad

• So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. John 16:22
• Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4
• Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
• Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4
• The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
• Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial, because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
• The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19
• I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33
• For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17
• The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. John 1:5

Angry

• But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44
• “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27
• My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
• Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult. Proverbs 12:16
• The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14
• But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Luke 6:27-28
• Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9
• For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14
• So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

Scared

• When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3
• The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
• Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22
• The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
• Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
• Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
• For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
• Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4
• For we live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7
• But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 1 Peter 3:14

Thankful

• Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
• If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. John 15:7
• I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
• I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1
• And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17
• Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15
• Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38
• Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4
• All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 2 Corinthians 4:15
• Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise--the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Hebrews 13:15-16

Surprise Me!

• In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. John 14:2
• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
• Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58
• Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13
• For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. Romans 15:4
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4
• Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Psalm 143:10
• Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
• Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3
• Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 John 1:2
• The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever. 1 John 2:17
• Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8
• If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1:5
• For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
• And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 1 John 4:16
• Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27
• Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
• Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
• So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:12

I hope this blog post has helped you to heal through gratitude. Do you have a favorite gratitude practice or bible verse that I haven’t mentioned? Let me know in the comments!