This is it.
Life is not dress rehearsal.
It’s the main event. And you’re the star of the show.
You’ve got this one precious (and fleeting) opportunity to create a life you love.
So, I have one question for you:
Are you happy with your life?
If your answer isn’t a resounding YES, then lucky you!
You get to practice the magical art of reinvention.
Here’s how to overcome the barriers to your personal development so you can live the life you want to live.
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1. Be Open to Change
The first step in creating a life you love is being open to change.
Like most people, I’ve always been scared of change.
It makes sense.
Our brains naturally prefer for things to stay the same.
If we maintain the status quo, we know exactly what to expect and everything is at least comfortable and settled.
New things might be dangerous, our brains figure.
Better to be safe than sorry.
Which is generally a pretty good philosophy.
But this kind of a mindset can also hold you back from great opportunities in life.
Because change is obviously a huge part of reinvention.
So, do you want to survive or do you want to thrive?
If everything stays the same, then you’re not transforming. If you’re not transforming, you’re stagnating.
And if you're stagnant, then are you really even living?
“Once you stop learning, you start dying.” – Albert Einstein
Things are constantly changing, whether we like it or not.
Now more than ever, adaptability is key to success.
If you’re willing embrace change and adapt, then you can actively shape your reality and create a life you love.
But, if you allow yourself to become paralyzed by fear then you are passively accepting less than you deserve.
And I know that’s not what you want.
You want to live a happy, fulfilling life that you don’t need a vacation from.
So, don’t fall into the seductive trap of complacency.
Embrace your curiosity, be more creative and get excited about change!
Create a Life You Love
2. Engage in Self-Evaluation
Once you are open to change, then you need to decide what it is that you want to change.
To do this, you must engage in self-evaluation.
Take a piercing look at yourself and your life.
Be brutally honest with yourself.
What are your weaknesses and your unique strengths?
Are you happy with who you are? Do you love your life?
How do you feel about your:
If you are not happy with your life, ask yourself whether you have been trying to achieve your own definition of success or someone else’s.
Often times, we allow others to define success for us. We don’t stop to self-reflect.
So, what’s your definition of success?
Are you prioritizing things that will help you attain it?
Or have you put your goals on the back-burner while you do all the things you are “supposed” to be doing first?
Don’t live by anyone else’s/society’s standards. Only you know what will truly make you happy.
To create a life you love, you have to know what you want and be willing to go after it.
If you’re not sure what you really, truly want out of life or what your “purpose in life” is, try connecting with yourself.
In today’s digital age, it can be easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of life and lose sight of what’s important.
So, simplify things for yourself.
Get off social media.
Go for a walk in nature.
Spend a few minutes doing absolutely nothing.
Think about what you loved to do as a child and what you wanted life to be like when you grew up.
What does “a life you love” look like to you?
3. Understand That Happiness is Not a Destination
Happiness is not a destination.
It’s not a reward we get for doing all the things society tells us to do.
You won’t “be happy when” you land that dream job, buy a home, win the lottery, get married, have kids, or when you reach any other isolated goal.
Not forever, anyway.
After a while, your initial exuberance will wear off and you’ll go back to your happiness set point – the psychological theory known as hedonic adaptation.
So, getting a degree, landing your dream job, having a family, making money – none of these things in and of themselves is the golden ticket to eternal happiness.
Accomplishing any one goal will not make you happy forever.
Happiness ebbs and flows, much like life in general.
It must be that way – without the “bad” there is no “good”.
So, seize opportunities for happiness all along the way!
Don’t save your happiness up for some illusory time in the future.
If you hinge your happiness on accomplishing the next extrinsic goal like making more money or gaining popularity, you will forever be chasing short-lived, shallow happiness.
To create a life you love, instead focus on setting goals that are based on intrinsic rewards like your own personal development.
Not only will you be more likely to accomplish them but you will also achieve a greater sense of fulfillment and joy.
Create a Life You Love
4. How to Bridge the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be
To create a life you love, you must bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
In order to do this, you must:
Let’s address each one in turn:
Understanding Brain & Behavior
There used to be a consensus among the experts that our brains were fixed.
That we were stuck with the skills, talents, intelligence, etc. that we were born with.
Now, we know that the brain can rewire itself – a concept called neuroplasticity.
Our brains are constantly changing based on our experiences, thoughts, behavior, and daily habits.
We literally have the ability to program ourselves for success.
So, think about what you want most out of life. Who you want to be. What kind of legacy you want to leave.
Make sure you are sending your subconscious the right messages so it can help you accomplish those goals.
To create a life you love, you need to program your subconscious mind for success.
Create a Life You Love
Getting into a Success Mindset
Are you facilitating or sabotaging your success?
Your mindset, whom and what you expose yourself to, your internal dialogue, your limiting beliefs, your level of optimism, whether you expect success – all these things influence your reality.
There’s already enough that can go wrong that’s out of our control – don’t stand in your own way!
You are more likely to be successful if you have a growth mindset, meaning that you believe your talents can be developed through your own efforts.
Compared to those who believe that their talents are innate gifts (fixed mindset), those with a growth mindset:
“Success is failure in progress.” – Albert Einstein
Biohacking Yourself
What’s biohacking?
If you’ve never heard of biohacking, it is a term (similar to “life hack”) used to describe the process of using biology to your advantage.
For example, we know that:
There are plenty of things you can do to use your own biology to your advantage.
So, what kind of fuel are you running on?
Are you maximizing your potential to get more done in less time?
How are you using your own biology to help yourself create a life you love?
Create a Life You Love
Being Brave & Developing Confidence
You don’t have to be confident to chase your dreams.
You just have to be brave.
If you can just gather enough courage to take the first step, confidence will come later.
Some people just naturally have what I think of as unsubstantiated confidence.
Their self-confidence doesn’t stem from triumph or accomplishment.
There’s nothing to back it up. No evidence to support the confidence.
It’s not earned.
Which, don’t get me wrong – unsubstantiated confidence is still a great attribute!
Earned or not, you’re still putting yourself out there and that’s half the battle.
But, self-confidence that is hard-won by overcoming adversity is simply a more powerful type of confidence.
When you earn your self-confidence, it strengthens your resolve.
Which helps you to take the risks necessary to create a life you love.
Courage => Failure => Lesson => Confidence => Success
Remember that failure is an inherent part of success.
It’s simply “the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently”, as Henry Ford said.
If you’re going to reinvent yourself, expect there to be a lot of obstacles and setbacks along the way.
You can let them deter you or you can use them to strengthen your resolve.
Resilience is paramount when it comes to creating a life you love.
So, think about what you would do if you knew could not fail … and set about doing that.
Welcome the opportunity to show yourself how strong you are.
Prove to yourself that you can do it and live to tell the tale.
You’ll be more likely to put yourself out there in the future … with increased confidence and a greater likelihood of success!
Taking Action
What are you doing to create a life you love?
It’s important to have a clear vision of what success looks like to you, but don’t get too caught up in the ideas phase.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
If you read my other goal-setting posts, then you know I’m a fan of setting a big goal and then chunking it down into manageable, bite-sized tasks.
Avoid analysis paralysis!
Doing is what gets things done.
So, take action! There’s no time to waste.
“I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.”
If you find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself why.
Is it because you are afraid?
Often, artists and entrepreneurs are scared of judgment and rejection. It takes courage to create despite that fear.
When you’re ok with being uncomfortable and you’re ok with failure, you’re unstoppable!
So, experiment often.
Document your progress.
And celebrate your failures – they’re getting you one step closer to success!
Following Up
Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on how you look at it!), your work is never done.
You must constantly follow up with yourself.
When you do, you may find that because of who you’ve become along the way, you now have a different vision of success.
Or, a once-reliable method is now outdated and you have to take the time to learn a new, more effective method.
Things change.
This reminds me of an economic theory called creative destruction, a term used to describe the process of transformation that naturally occurs in a capitalistic society.
Joseph Schumpeter, the man who coined the term, argues that capitalism is an evolutionary process that eventually phases out obsolete markets.
As entrepreneurs create disruptive companies, they destroy the old economic structure.
Essentially, out with the old and in with the new.
We can see examples of this all around us (and we can see how it will continue to happen in the future):
So, check in with yourself now and then just to make sure that you are still on the right track.
Ask yourself whether your goals still align with your true desires and whether you are still working towards them in the most beneficial way.
Constantly reassess and pivot to make sure you are creating a life you love!
Over to you ...
