When I first started this blog, I had no real concept of metaphysics, 3D, 4D or 5D states of consciousness. I was on a journey of personal development, moving through this physical world, sharing my insights with all of you along the way (which I still am and will continue to do!). 

A lot has changed in the past 7 years; as I continued to accumulate knowledge and life experience, I grew spiritually. I’ve realized that although many of the concepts I shared with you are still valid and do have their place in this physical “3D” reality, there are other metaphysical truths that must be understood in order to achieve holistic success. 

The thing is, while you may be able to achieve tangible goals (3D success) by taking action alone, metaphysical success requires more than just physical action -you must first have the right frequency (mental attitude) in order to manifest your desired reality.

Your Energetic Signature

We each have a unique energetic signature, or frequency, which is comprised of our thoughts, beliefs, attention, emotional conviction, and identity. And whether you’re aware of it or not, your frequency is the cause of your reality. 

It’s like ordering something off Amazon – there are a multitude of products, and each product has a unique product code (UPC).

Likewise, the universe has a multitude of realities--your frequency is the UPC for your reality. The frequency you are emitting is placing an order with the universe for a particular reality.

Once you are aware that it is your frequency that determines your reality, you can then attune your frequency to your desired reality in order to attain it. So, what reality are you ordering… and which one do you want to order?

Order What You Want (Not What You Don’t Want)

Because the universe will seek to match whatever frequency you’re putting out there, you can make your frequency – or mental attitude-- work to your advantage (of course, the opposite is true as well). 

Attention is the beginning of creation – where attention goes, energy flows. Before anything manifests physically, it first exists mentally/vibrationally. The more energy that flows to something, the more you are indicating to the universe that that’s what you want. 

Likewise, each time you are presented with an opportunity to react or respond, you are being given a menu with two items – what you want and what you don’t want. Point to what you want.

Think about it like ordering off a menu with pictures but the waiter doesn’t speak English. If you point to the fish and say, “I want the steak”, or you point to the fish and say, “I don’t want this”, he will nevertheless assume that what you pointed to is what you wanted.   

Co-Create the Reality That You Want (Not One That You Fear)

If you give attention to the things you don’t want, you are only strengthening those potentialities with your fear. Your fear is like a beacon of light for that which you fear – it will draw it to you, simply because you have given it so much energy, so many emotionally-charged thoughts.

By fearing something, you are confessing that it is stronger than you – and since the strongest frequency wins, the thing you fear will control you or come upon you. 

Keep in mind the infamous Double Slit quantum mechanics experiment, which showed that particles can exist in multiple places at once until observed -- simply interacting with them by taking a measurement changes their behavior.

On a metaphysical level, this means that you co-create your reality. There are a multitude of potentialities for your reality and the one that becomes “real” for you is the one that you observe, interact with, and measure (pass judgment upon, form a belief about). We each live in our own YOUniverse.

So, what are you observing and how are you measuring those things? Are you tuning your awareness to things that are in alignment with your desired reality?  What things are you investing in by giving them your attention?

Be Good With it and Good Without It

In order for your desired reality to manifest, you must be good with it and good without it. 

Because you can’t have what you need -- you must already have it vibrationally (be vibrationally aligned with it) before you can have it physically. 

Needing indicates that you don’t have it vibrationally. Desperation will only push it farther away because it is indicating to the universe that you are lacking something internally – therefore, you will lack it externally as well. 

“Needing” places excess importance on something and therefore creates space between you and the thing that you “need”.

So, in order to collapse that space that separates you from your desired reality, you must de-pedestalize your desire…see it as normal, take it for granted.

Be good with it and good without it. You must get to a place where you are no longer emotionally dependent upon seeing reality change. 

Your Destination is Actually Your Starting Location

I, like most people, were taught that if I work hard, then I will achieve my desired reality, which will allow me to feel a certain way. 

For example, if I work really hard, then I will make X amount of money and then I will feel successful/abundant. (Action Desired Reality Feeling/Mental Attitude)

But, in reality, the formula for metaphysical success is:

Feeling/Mental Attitude Action Desired Reality. 

If you’re only focused on taking action to achieve your goals, you are working out of order. You must first be in vibrational alignment with your desired reality.

Think from the position of already having your desired reality – how would you think and move?  Then, when you take action, it will lead to your desired reality. 

Focus On Your Frequency First

So, frequency must precede action. Being is more powerful than doing.  

You will not attain metaphysical success/ your desired reality by merely taking action alone. You must first have the right mental attitude, and then the right action will flow from that, which is what creates your reality (materialized frequency).

Because your frequency informs your intuition, which influences your decisions – it compels you to take actions in alignment with that frequency. 

Frequency Compels you to act Which then manifests your reality

Ironically, once you are in the right frequency, you will no longer be emotionally dependent upon seeing your desired reality manifest in the 3D because you already have it energetically.

Be grateful and enthusiastic ahead of time – before the world proves it to you, before you see it physically manifest in the 3D. Thinking and behaving like you would if you already had your desired reality and feeling gratitude and enthusiasm will put you in the right frequency to draw that desired reality to you.

You must have it vibrationally before you can have it physically.

Vibration is determined by focus/concentration. So, where is your focus? What are you concentrating on? Not all thoughts are equal – which of your thoughts are emotionally charged? Those will have the most influence on your subconscious, and hence, your frequency.    

Your Desired Reality Doesn’t Have to Be Realistic or Logical

What we humans see with eyesight in this 3D reality is only .0035% of the electromagnetic spectrum.  

And we don’t even “see” with our eyes - our eyes take in electric signals and send them to the brain; the brain then produces an image of what it thinks it’s seeing based on assumptions and predictions. That’s why magic tricks can work on you.

So, who’s to say what’s realistic or delusional? Considering that 99.9965% of reality is unseen, don’t allow your potential to be defined by the .0035%.  

In this limited observable reality (3D) also exists limiting concepts such as polarity – good and bad, light and dark, up and down, rich and poor, hot and cold. 

On an energetic level, each of those duos are the same energy vibrating at different rates of vibration. The same way ice and steam are the same substance materialized in different forms, matter and consciousness are the same substance materialized in different forms – the same energy vibrating at different rates of vibration.

Outside of this 3rd dimensional realm, there is no polarity—only oneness. God, the infinite intelligence, is above illusion.

You may not be able to achieve your desired reality on your own, but with God, all things are possible. You are an expression of God, or the infinite intelligence – which is omnipotent and omniscient – there is nothing that God cannot do. We are confined to this 3D reality, but God is not, and neither is the aspect of God (highest level of consciousness) that is within you.  

Are Your Beliefs Serving You or Controlling You?

The only things you are limited by are your own self-limiting beliefs. 

The beliefs that you hold form the blueprint of your reality. Because before anything exists physically, it first exists in the mind. The world you live in is nothing more than your beliefs materialized, a world of frozen imagination.

The first step is to recognize your self-limiting beliefs. In doing so, it is important to understand that there are no truths other than what the subconscious mind has accepted as true.

Your beliefs are simply repeated thoughts with an emotional charge that become your reality – and if they are not serving you (by helping you achieve your desired reality), then they are controlling you. 

For example, let’s say you want to quit smoking. Does it serve you to believe that it will be difficult to quit? If you want to be financially free, does it serve you to believe that you have to work hard to make money? If you want to be in a healthy relationship, does it serve you to believe that all men are cheaters? These are just some examples; think about what beliefs you hold and how they may be influencing your reality. 

Choose to Hold Beliefs that Align with Your Desired Reality

Your subconscious mind that holds these beliefs will trick you into believing that you are right by giving you an artificial ego boost. It will present you with people, circumstances, and events that make you say, “See! I knew it, I was right.”

But, in reality, you drew those people, circumstances, and events to you with your frequency.

You can just as well hold the opposite belief, one that actually serves you and leads to your desired reality. You don’t have to stay trapped in the box of your limiting belief; you can think outside the box.

So, examine your beliefs and ask yourself if they are aligned or misaligned with your desired reality. Only the ones aligned with your desired reality should remain.

Other than your beliefs, is there anything else in your life that reflects, resonates with, or implies the things you do not want? (ex: scarcity). Getting rid of those things will also help you to align with the frequency of your desired reality. (ex: abundance). 

Outsmart The Old You & Remain Steadfast in Your Desired Reality

You have a collection of thoughts + emotion, otherwise known as thought forms. When those thought forms are repeated over time, they give birth to a spiritual entity (aka the old version of you). 

That entity is blind intelligence. It just wants to live, and it will do anything - including sabotage you - to continue existing. It is dependent upon keeping you in the same paradigm, so whenever you try to step outside of that, it will try to drag you back in by getting you to feel frustration and disappointment.

And it will do so by presenting you with circumstances, people, and events that it knows usually gets you to react. If you do react predictably, those negative emotions create a certain frequency which acts like glue to your old frequency, the old version of you.  

Don’t let those circumstances destroy your progress ---remember, it’s just your old frequency trying press your buttons and get you to react so it can continue to live. Don’t fall for it – be nonreactive. This requires a certain degree of emotional discipline and resilience. Have conviction in your desired reality; be the stronger frequency.

The closer you get to your desired reality, the more your old frequency will try to project its fear onto you, so you get scared and don’t continue moving forward.

You can end this cycle of self-sabotage by seeing yourself as separate from your old frequency – it’s not your fear; it’s the old frequency’s. You’re not scared; the old version of you is. 

Your Self-Worth Is the Energetic Ceiling of Anything You’ll Be Able to Materialize

“We don’t rise to the level of our aspirations; we fall to the level of our self-worth.”

What do you know you deserve? What your subconscious thinks you deserve is what you have already emotionally experienced. Any emotionally-charged experiences you went through will influence the subconscious – good or bad.

For example, if you grew up poor and you had an emotional charge attached to that experience, your subconscious will believe that you deserve to be poor. If you were loved and cherished, your subconscious will believe that you deserve to be loved and cherished. 

As you can see, this can either work for you or against you when it comes to manifesting your desired reality. Fortunately, you can create the emotionally charged experiences that serve you.

Because your brain cannot distinguish between what is imagined and what is experienced, you can imagine emotionally charged experiences that increase your self-worth, thereby raising the ceiling on what you can manifest.  

By contrast, the 3D definition of self-worth is externalized—it’s determined by the perception of others and your achievements and failures.

This is folly; others wear their own “lenses”. Each person’s lenses are unique; they’re colored by their own experiences that tint and distort reality --they cannot objectively perceive you beyond that filter (this concept is also known as the perception-projection loop).

So, they simply can’t be the ones to tell you what you’re capable of. Only you can do that. And achievements and failures are concepts rooted in polarity, which is an illusion of the 3D reality. 

If you grant anything external (receiving validation, love, respect, accolades, money, appearance, etc.) control over your self-worth, then you allow those things to define the limits of your reality and metaphysical success.

Build Self-Trust to Boost Your Confidence

Instead, internalize your self-worth. Cultivate the experiences that make you feel worthy by simply imagining them.

For example, imagine someone who you know would be happy for your success congratulating you on whatever it is you want to manifest while feeling the validation, love, accolades, etc. The more you give that emotional experience to yourself, the more you will be signaling to your subconscious that you deserve it, and moreover, that you already have it. 

Another aspect of self-worth is confidence --- the root word of which is “fid”, meaning trust in Latin. You must build up your self-trust to increase your confidence. This means doing things you know you should do and not doing things you know you shouldn’t do.

You may think that those things don’t affect you especially when they are small, but the truth is your subconscious remembers everything and keeps the score. As you continue to prove to yourself that you are a person of your word, you will be more confident in your abilities and more convicted in the actions you take. 

Be Intentional About What You Give Attention To

Be on the lookout for synchronicities and notice how you played a part in them manifesting. Notice the connections between your inner world and outer circumstances.

By being intentional in this way, you are training the reticular activating system (RAS) in your brain. The RAS acts as a selective filter, filtering out what it deems irrelevant and drawing your attention to what it deems relevant. 

Since your brain simply cannot process all incoming information, it has developed certain shortcuts (also known as heuristics/cognitive biases). One of those mental shortcuts is the RAS.

 Have you ever noticed that once you learn something new or focus on something new you start seeing it everywhere? That’s your RAS at work. Another example is your ability to snap to attention upon hearing your name, even in a noisy environment. 

You can program this system to notice things related to your desired reality and filter out things that do not. Once you do, you’ll be tuned to the right frequency. Information and opportunities that you previously would not have noticed will be popping up all over the place. Noticing and taking advantage of those opportunities will help you attain your desired reality. 

Give Yourself Grace

Finally, give yourself some grace. You’ve been operating as the “old version of you” way longer than you’ve been operating from your new frequency. 

There may be moments when you have emotional reactions to things that the 3D reality shows you. You may have times when you lose sight of your true nature (an expression of God) and get wrapped up in unimportant or detrimental things. 

It’s ok. You have only fallen because you have risen. 

This is a dynamic personal growth journey that will continue for the rest of your life. It’s not important (or even possible) to be successful/high vibe all the time; things will naturally ebb and flow.

What’s important is to be resilient. Know that all paths (even the difficult ones) lead to one destination: your desired reality. 

I'd like to give credit to Nero on YouTube (thank you!), who helped me understand these concepts.

Moving is one of the most stressful things you can go through! That’s why it is important to take care of yourself during this transition. Pay a little extra attention to self-care. If you don’t already have a self-care routine in place, this is the perfect time to get one established.

Between the packing and planning and expenses, it’s no wonder moving is consistently ranked as the most stressful life event. And as we know from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research -Holmes & Rahe Stress Assessment, going through a lot of changes in a short period of time (a year) can wreak havoc on your health.

Having relocated six times in the last five years (we're currently in Colorado Springs!), I feel like somewhat of a moving expert. And now, you can benefit from my experience; in this post, I’m going to share some helpful tips on moving out of state to make the whole process easier.

Download this printable Moving Checklist Bundle PDF and start organizing your move!

What Makes Moving So Stressful?

Identifying the cause of stress is the first step to mitigating it. When you can identify your likely stressors, you can then manage them proactively.

So, why is moving so stressful? Of course, the answer to that differs from person to person, but here are some common reasons for moving stress:

-Financial constraints

Moving can be expensive, especially if you’re making a cross-country move like I did.

The average cost of a long-distance move is around $5,000 but it can be anywhere from $2,400 to $15,000 depending on various factors such as whether you hire movers or tow a vehicle. And that’s not even including other expenses like storage, moving supplies, and travel fees.

If you’re not careful, all the little things can add up to a lot! So, setting a budget for moving costs and keeping track of your expenses is crucial.

-Time constraints

Preparing for a move is time consuming. And if you have a set move-in date, the clock is ticking – no extensions. The stress of that alone could be paralyzing!

But now is not the time to procrastinate. You’ll want to leave yourself plenty of time to get everything done. Use the pressure to help you focus and prioritize, but don’t let it overwhelm you.

The single most important thing to do when it comes to reducing the stress of your move is making a Moving Checklist. Seeing on paper all the things you have to get done helps you stay organized and ensures that nothing important slips through the cracks.

As you tackle the tasks one by one, you can then cross them off the list and feel a sense of accomplishment. Celebrate these little wins!

-Disruption to Routine

You’ll probably have to prepare for the move while maintaining your everyday activities such as going to work, exercising, taking care of kids, etc. These moving preparations can disrupt your normal routine, especially as the moving date draws closer.

There will also be a period of adjustment once you get to the new place. So, it is important to safeguard your well-being during this time.

Moving is actually a great opportunity to increase your resilience. You will come out on the other side of this move – and when you do, you will be stronger and better equipped to cope, adapt, pivot, bounce back, and overcome all of life’s challenges.

-Change/Fear of the Unknown

One of the scariest things about moving is leaving behind beloved family, friends, and places. Even if you know that you’re moving in order to elevate your life, fear of the unknown can be unsettling. Mindset is especially important when it comes to this.

If you feel scared, try and shift that feeling to one of curiosity. Instead of, “I’m scared of what the future holds”, try thinking, “I’m curious what the future holds.” You’re still uncertain, just without a negative bias. Curiosity leaves open the possibility for something wonderful to happen.

This reminds me of the powerful question that Mel Robbins invites us to ask ourselves – what if everything works out?

Fear-based thinking often involves thoughts like, “what if something goes wrong with the move?”, “what if I can’t get a job?”, “what if the children don’t like their new school?”, “what if the pets aren’t happy in the new place?”

Instead of allowing those thoughts to take root, replace them with, “what if everything works out?”. And then really ponder that. Envision everything working out exactly as you want it to and feel the feelings that come with it.

-Labor & Logistics

Moving can be physically and mentally demanding, especially if you don’t hire help. Packing up all your belongings and organizing everything from boxes to appointments requires effort. And once you get to your new place, there’ll be the logistics of getting settled in.

Don’t underestimate the toll that this can take on your physical and mental health. Prioritizing yourself and making time for self-care is crucial for a smooth transition.

Tips for an Easier Out-of-State Move

Relocating anywhere requires a lot of planning and organization – even more so when it comes to long-distance, out-of-state, or cross-country moves. Here are some of my hard-won moving tips to help you be better equipped for your adventure!

Have a plan

Planning is the single best thing you can do to reduce stress. This is because through a process called “proactive coping”, you can prevent stress from building in the first place.

A lot of times, we’ll get overwhelmed because we don’t realize how many stress factors are actually present or how long we’ve been under stress. 

By planning ahead (and using your Moving Checklist), you are in a better position to assess risks and tackle potential issues while remaining flexible enough to embrace serendipitous occurrences. Simply knowing what your goals are and how you plan on accomplishing them goes a long way towards alleviating stress.

Start early

There’s nothing worse than being pressed for time, especially when it comes to something as important and complex as an out-of-state move. That’s why you’ve got to leave yourself enough time to get everything done.

I started prepping for my most recent move 2 months out –and I’m so glad I did; this was our smoothest and most organized move yet! 

Overestimate time & expenses

One thing I’ve learned throughout my six moves in five years is that you should overestimate two things:

-the time it takes to get everything done, and
-how much everything will cost.

Through a cognitive bias called “the planning fallacy”, our brains tend to underestimate the time and effort needed to complete a task. In order to overcome this, we need to “pad” the numbers.

Give yourself a buffer.

So, let’s say you think it will take 2-3 weeks to pack the house. Give yourself 4-5 weeks. You think it will cost $500 in gas. Estimate gas costs at $1,250.

This way, if you don’t need as much time or things don’t cost as much, great! You come out ahead. You can use that extra time and money to do something nice for yourself.

Be organized & methodical

A cluttered and disorganized environment can make you anxious and less productive. The same thing goes for your brain. Mental clutter, just like physical clutter, can cause overwhelm.

So, if you’ve got an endless list of “things to do” running through your mind, you may want to clear up some mental space by creating a checklist for yourself.

This works similarly to the “Brain Dump”; by getting everything out on paper (i.e. moving checklist, moving expenses, etc.), you can more clearly see what needs to be done, prioritize accordingly, and keep track of where you’re at in the process.

Visualize yourself doing it

When you visualize yourself reaching a goal, you’re training your brain to help you accomplish it. This mental rehearsal creates new neural pathways to support the reality you envisioned.

Visualizing success is a common practice among athletes including Muhammad Ali and Tiger Woods. Studies (especially in sports) have consistently shown that visualization actually improves performance.

This is because the same parts of the brain are activated when you visualize yourself doing something and when you act it out.

So, even if you’ve never done something before, by imagining yourself doing it successfully, you can enhance your performance when the time actually comes for you to do it.

Use mental imagery to imagine yourself gliding through the moving process with ease. See yourself taking all the necessary steps to accomplish your move and then feel the relief of knowing that everything went the way it was supposed to go.

Practice self-care

As with any undertaking, self-care is one of the keys to success.

Here’s an analogy. If your knife gets dull, it is advisable to sharpen the blade. After it’s sharpened, the knife cuts better and the chances of injury are reduced. If you don’t take the time to sharpen the blade, it will continue to get duller and duller until you simply can’t use it anymore.

Similarly, if you get tired or stressed it is advisable to take a break. Once you are feeling rejuvenated, you’ll perform better, and the chances of injury or illness are reduced. If you don’t take time for self-care, you will continue to wear yourself down to the point that you develop a physical or mental disease (or both).

All the things you work so hard for won’t mean a thing if you aren’t there to enjoy them! Taking care of yourself is not selfish or wrong; your physical and mental health depend on it.

Self-care is disease prevention. Practicing self-care allows you to be healthier, happier, more productive, more creative, more energetic --- the list of benefits goes on and on. 

Prioritize self-care! Moving is stressful and protecting your health is crucial during this transition.

Printable Moving Checklist PDF

Visit my Etsy shop to download this Printable Moving Bundle I created to make your move easier.

It includes:

Share this & help someone else!

Share this & help someone else!

Do you …

-Feel guilty for saying no?
-Allow people to disrespect you?
-Put others first, even at your own expense?
-Get overwhelmed easily?

If so, you need to set some personal boundaries!

Setting boundaries makes it possible to have healthy relationships and maintain your  individuality.

In this post, we’ll discuss how to set healthy personal boundaries –an essential part of any self-care plan.

Download your Boundary- Setting Worksheets PDF

Includes:
-Boundaries Self-Assessment
-Healthy vs. Unhealthy Boundaries Checklist
-Setting Boundaries in Relationships
-Types of Boundaries
-Set Boundaries Worksheets
-Boundary-Setting Examples
-Boundary Setting Affirmations
-Commitment to Myself

What are Boundaries?

Boundaries are borders or limits that you don’t want someone else to cross.

When you set healthy personal boundaries, you are letting others know what’s unacceptable for you. You are taking responsibility for yourself by letting others know how you want to be treated and what you will not tolerate.

Your boundaries are meant to protect and safeguard your well-being, like a security system is meant to protect a home and safeguard everything inside.

You decide what your boundaries are, and others have to either respect them or keep it moving. By setting boundaries, you are taking responsibility for yourself, not the actions of others.

It’s your personal space -what do you want to allow in? What do you want to keep out?

Before defining your boundaries, it may be helpful to first think about what types of boundaries you need to set in your life.

Different Types of Boundaries in Relationships

In what areas of your life do you need to set boundaries? You may find that certain relationships are lacking boundaries, such as your:

-romantic relationships
-relationship with your parents/family members
-friendships
-relationship with in-laws
-boss/co-worker relationships

There are various types of boundaries you can set but here are some main categories:

Physical Boundaries

These refer to your personal space and unwanted touch or closeness. You have the right to your personal space, privacy, and the right to refuse to be touched on any part of your body at any time, by anyone.

Emotional Boundaries

You have the right to feel your feelings. Other people do not have the right to impose their opinions on you or make you feel bad for not sharing their emotions. You may also want to set boundaries around what you are willing to hear or be exposed to (for example, emotional dumping or other toxic behavior)

Time Boundaries

Time is your most valuable possession, and you must protect it. Consistently overextending yourself can lead to mental health issues including stress, fatigue, and burnout. Setting time boundaries (saying no!) will help prevent burnout and ensure that you make time for self-care. When someone asks you to make a commitment, think about whether you truly want to do it. If they’re pressuring you and you feel like you can’t say no in the moment, ask for time to think about it.

Material Boundaries

This involves your material possessions, including money. You decide whether you want to give or lend your things. This could also include boundaries you set with yourself to eliminate your debt or setting spending limits.

Why are Healthy Personal Boundaries So Important?

Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. Healthy boundaries help you to protect yourself and maintain healthy relationships. 

Not setting healthy personal boundaries leaves you prone to physical and mental ailments by allowing things you don’t want into your life.  

Boundaries serve many purposes, including:

-staying true to yourself/maintaining individuality
-getting the respect that you deserve
-making your needs known
-letting people know your expectations & avoiding misunderstandings
-living a healthy life|
-preventing resentment and regret
-keeping stress levels low
-clearing negative energies from your surroundings
-creating consistency/stability
-establishing your identity
-staying safe/protecting yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)
-taking back/maintaining control of your life

Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries

Unhealthy boundaries = disrespect.

When you tolerate disrespect, you are sending a message to the other person that you are willing to accept mistreatment. Even worse, you are sending a message to yourself that you are not worthy of being treated well.

To the contrary, when you set healthy boundaries, you are letting everyone know (including yourself) what you are, and are not, willing to tolerate.

You have the right to protect your time, your energy, and your needs as a living being. You have the right to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities.

And you deserve to be treated with respect or left alone. When you set boundaries, you give others the opportunity to either agree with your terms or bug off.

Examples of healthy boundaries:

-saying no
-communicating your needs
-respecting others’ needs
-valuing your own opinions
-making time for self-care
-trusting your decisions

Examples of unhealthy boundaries:

-always saying yes and overextending yourself
-not respecting when someone else says no
-tolerating disrespect
-allowing someone to dictate your life choices
-not prioritizing your well-being
-giving up your interests/substituting your decisions for someone else’s

Why is Setting Boundaries So Hard?

If it’s hard for you to set boundaries, look to your underlying core values. For example, if one of your top core values is dependability, you may have trouble saying no, even if it’s not in your best interest because you want to be a dependable person.

*If you are interested in getting to know yourself and your core values, check out these self-discovery worksheets.

The truth is, you can be a dependable person and set boundaries. In fact, setting boundaries makes you even more dependable because you let others know up front exactly what you expect from them.

Setting boundaries is not selfish. Self-care is not selfish.

Taking care of yourself is an act of love not only for you but for all those you come in contact with during your life.

Only by practicing self-care (including setting boundaries) can you feel and perform your best.

You at your best is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your loved ones -- and the world at large.

Reasons for Not Setting Boundaries

Lack of Experience

Setting boundaries is a learned skill.

So, if you’ve never set boundaries before, it may seem scary.

Start small – for example, try saying no to an offer when you feel like you already have too much on your plate.

Don’t overexplain, you don’t need to justify yourself. Just say something like “I’d love to, but I can’t right now” or “It’s hard for me to say no but I have to this time.”

Low Self-Esteem

If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may need to work on your confidence before you’re able to effectively set all the boundaries you need.

But it’s helpful to understand that the two are interconnected -- once you begin to set healthy boundaries, your self-esteem will rise.

And then you will have the confidence to set more boundaries, which will again have a positive impact on your self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and self-love.

So, take that first leap of setting a personal boundary and enjoy the cascading benefits!

Fear

Fear of rejection, abandonment, conflict/confrontation, hurting someone’s feelings, being perceived as mean, controlling, selfish, etc. are all misguided reasons for not setting boundaries.

Those fears pale in comparison to living a life that’s not your own.

It’s ok if they get angry, it’s ok if they think you’re selfish – you are not responsible for other people’s feelings or behavior, only your own.

Remember that inaction is an action too. By not setting healthy boundaries, you are making a choice to constantly be at the mercy of others. 

Lack of Self-Awareness

If you don’t know what your core values are, what you want out of your relationships, and how you want to be treated, then how can you set boundaries?

As you progress along your personal development journey, your self-awareness will deepen, and you will gain a better understanding of your needs.

As you evolve, you will be progressively better equipped to set boundaries that suit YOU.

No matter who you are or what you stand for, some will love you and some won’t … but those who wish to be around you must respect you.

Empathy

Highly sensitive people and empaths in particular may also struggle with setting healthy boundaries since they are so often willing to sacrifice their own well-being for the sake of others.

That’s why it’s especially important for these highly sensitive individuals to protect their emotional and energetic resources.

Trauma

If you grew up with mentally unstable, controlling, abusive, or otherwise toxic parents/caregivers, you may also feel guilty when setting boundaries.

Having your boundaries consistently violated as a child makes it harder to set boundaries as an adult.

Those who grew up in an enmeshed family may also feel guilty for putting themselves first.

Forbidden from developing their own identity and forced to meet the needs of their parent instead of their own, enmeshed children become codependent and unable to set healthy personal boundaries.

Enmeshment trauma often manifests in the form of:

-lack of confidence
-difficulty making decisions
-feeling responsible for others’ feelings
-fear of conflict
-toxic relationships
-low self-esteem

Limiting Beliefs

Society teaches us (especially women) that we must always be agreeable and self-sacrificing. When your self-worth is tied up with pleasing other people, you may feel guilty or selfish when standing up for yourself.

This limiting belief system based on people-pleasing must be unlearned and replaced with one that based on the truth – that you matter.

In fact, you should come first.

You may face other limiting beliefs when it comes to setting healthy personal boundaries.  Here are some myth-busting truths to help you overcome them:

-self-care is not selfish
-saying no does not make you a bad person
-keeping the peace is not worth your inner peace
-loving someone does not mean doing everything they want
-setting boundaries does not make you a difficult, demanding, or rude person
-boundaries are not permanent; you are free to change them as you continue along your personal development journey
-setting healthy boundaries is not about controlling the behavior of others, but rather controlling what you accept into your life

When to Set Boundaries

It’s usually easier to set boundaries in the beginning before any expectations or patterns of behavior have been established.

When you don’t set a boundary early on, when it’s “something small”, it invites the person to continue overstepping your boundaries.

And the more they push, the more trapped you feel by your first decision to remain silent and pretend like their behavior is ok with you.

But the truth is it’s never too late to set boundaries. Even if you haven’t set boundaries in an existing relationship, you still have every right to at any point.

If they get angry, let them go! They’re just upset that they no longer have control over you for their own selfish purposes.

People who truly care about you will respect your boundaries. Toxic people who want to manipulate, abuse, or take advantage of you will not.

Those who love you will encourage your personal and spiritual growth. They will allow you the space to take care of yourself in the way you need.

Toxic people will stifle your growth and seek to control you with their selfish desires and opinions.

“They know your worth. They just hope you don’t.”

So, don’t feel guilty. Remember, you’re not saying the other person has to comply; you are simply telling them what you need. They decide whether they want to live with the boundary you’ve set or not. 

How to Set Boundaries

Once you've defined your boundaries, it’s time to communicate them.

Keep it simple. Be clear and specific. Do not overexplain or justify.

Simply state your boundary and set forth consequences for crossing it. You could even plan what you are going to say ahead of time. For example, “If you continue to talk to me disrespectfully, I’m going to leave.”

Focus on YOUR needs and what YOU will do, not what the other person is doing. So, for example, instead of saying, “Don’t email me during work hours”, say “I’ve decided to respond to all emails after work, so I’ll get back to you then.”

If you are not used to setting boundaries, it may be uncomfortable at first. Do it anyway. It will get easier, and the more you practice, the more confident you will become.

If they cross the boundary, enact the consequence. This is really important.

If, for example, if you said you would leave if they continued to talk to you disrespectfully, then be prepared to do so. If you don’t, the other person will know they can continue to violate your boundaries without reproach.

Of course, that’s not to say that your boundaries can’t be flexible. Again, as you change and grow, so will your boundaries.

***If you are in an abusive situation or dealing with someone who has a psychological problem, it may not be safe for you to try and set boundaries with them alone. Please seek help if you are in danger.

Respecting Others’ Boundaries

Boundary setting is not only about you; it’s also about other people. You don’t have to agree with other people’s boundaries, but you have to respect them. We all have the right to autonomy over our own lives.

People can make decisions without your advice or interference. If you do offer unsolicited advice, don’t expect the other person to take it. They will ultimately decide what’s best for them and their life.

You can also respect someone’s boundaries accepting only what they share freely. Snooping, prying, and asking too many questions are all nosy behaviors that can make people feel uncomfortable.

You may not always be aware that you’ve disrespected someone else’s boundary. When someone informs you that you’ve crossed the line, listen carefully to what they’re telling you (including body language) and do not interrupt.

Once they’ve finished speaking, ask questions if there is something that you don’t understand. Accept the boundary graciously and remember how you’d like to be treated when you set your own boundaries. If you’re not ok with the boundary, be prepared to walk away.

Stay Committed to Communicating and Enforcing Your Boundaries

I hope this has helped inspire you to set healthy personal boundaries. Be sure to check out the Boundary-Setting Worksheets I created to go along with this post (available in the SelfCareby3DSuccess Etsy Shop).

What types of boundaries do you need in your life? Let me know in the comments!  

24 hours in a day.

4,732 things to do.

Only 1 you.

If you’re struggling with time management, you probably feel like you’re always busy, being pulled in a million different directions and there’s just not enough time to get everything done.

While there are indeed only 24 hours in the day, there are ways to make your day go smoother, calmer, and more efficient.

It all comes down to prioritization and organization.

Here’s how to prioritize tasks on your “to-do list” and get more done while still having time to relax.

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission. 

3D Success, LLC. is also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Please read the Disclaimer for more info.

Where Does My Time Go?

The first order of business is to evaluate your current methods of time management.

Do you have any systems, habits, or routines in place to boost your productivity and keep yourself on track?

If you aren’t sure how you manage to be so busy and yet still not accomplish much, it’s a good idea to see exactly how much time you are spending on various tasks throughout the day.

One way to do this is by logging all your daily activities on a time tracker for a few day, or at least 24 hours.  

(If it’s going to social media or TV, it might be time for a digital detox!)

In order for this to work, you must be honest. No one has to see the tracker but you.

The time tracker will show you where all your time is going. When you look at your log, pay attention to:

-What things are taking your attention away from what’s most important to you?

-Which manual processes can be automated? Are there any that can be delegated for free/low cost?

-When are you most productive/energetic? Keep that in mind when making your schedule in the future and plan to do your most important or difficult tasks during those times whenever possible.

Make Things Easier and More Efficient for Yourself

As I mentioned earlier, the key to better time management is prioritization and organization.

They go hand in hand.

You must first decide what’s most important to you and then organize your schedule around that.

Remember that you only have so many hours in a day and you are only one person so be realistic with how much you can actually do while still leaving some flexibility in your schedule for self care and unforeseeable things that might pop up.

Everything can’t be a priority, so it’s up to you to evaluate and prioritize tasks and then say no and set boundaries.

Things will also go a lot smoother if you organize your physical space as well. Clutter not only takes up space in your home, it also takes up space in your mind!

So, be ruthless when decluttering – reduce or eliminate those distractions as much as possible. Remember that it takes about 20 minutes to refocus after being distracted from a task.

And once again, it comes down to what’s more important to you? A clutter-free space in which you can be productive – or the stuff?

This reminds me of something that the ladies from The Home Edit like to say – you either get the item or you get the space. Choose wisely.

How to Schedule Your Day for Productivity (and Relaxation)

A surefire way to kill your productivity is to overload your schedule.

Then, you won’t be able to do anything at all because you’re so burnt out. Or, the quality of your work will suffer to such a degree that you might as well not have done anything at all.

So, keep that in mind when planning your to-do’s for the day.

Prioritize tasks, pad your schedule and leave some space “blank” for personal time.

It is imperative to maintain flexibility to account for the realities of life. We all know that things don’t always go as planned so “expect the unexpected” – (any fellow Big Brother fans reading this? )

Setting boundaries is a crucial skill to have when it comes to time management. You have to say no to some things in order to say yes to others. So, once again, choose wisely.

Streamline your workflow and routines whenever possible to avoid decision fatigue.

Try to prioritize tasks that will save you time and energy in the long run. For example, instead of deciding what to make for dinner each day and then cooking it, why not plan ahead of time? Maybe even do some meal prep for the week - one less thing for you to worry about.

Is It Good to Multitask?

There are some times when it’s good to multitask. Like when you are washing dishes and being mindful at the same time. Or when you are doing yoga and meditation at the same time.

And then there are times when it is not good to multitask. Like when you are spending time with your family. Or when you are driving. (Put the phone down!)

Research actually shows that it hurts your brain to multitask and actually hurts productivity more than it helps.

A more efficient alternative is task batching. Simply group similar tasks together and complete them at the same time.

For example, I post an average of 20 pins a day on Pinterest as part of the marketing for my blog… but I don’t actually pin every day. Rather, I take a few hours out of one day to schedule my pins for the entire week using Tailwind, an automated social media scheduler.

Batching tasks together solves the problem of having to switch tasks (which leads to reduced efficiency and accuracy) and allows your brain to do what it does best – focus on one thing at a time.

Take Out Threats to Your Success

When it comes to time management, it’s not all about offensive tactics – there are some defensive ones to employ as well!

Threats to your success are everywhere – your phone, your computer, Netflix, junk food, negative people in your life … the list goes on and on.

Some of the main things that interfere with success include:

-Procrastination

There is often an underlying cause of procrastination. It’s not usually just because someone is lazy (although that’s definitely a real possibility).

One of the reasons you might be procrastinating is lack of clearly defined goal. When you don’t know what exactly you’re working towards, it’s hard to focus your efforts.

Have you thought about creating a personal development plan? It can help you get clear on what you want to do with your life and what needs to change in order to make that happen.

-Stress & Anxiety

Another underlying reason for procrastination is stress. When you’re stressed out, it’s hard to focus and be productive. If this is something you struggle with, check out these articles on building resilience and natural remedies for anxiety.

-Mindset/Perception

Some experts argue that overwhelm is state of mind, just like happiness. It’s not the sheer number of things you have going on that makes you overwhelmed. It’s how you view those things.

So, how do you think about your responsibilities/obligations?

Examine your internal dialogue. Make sure you are using positive language with yourself.

Try switching your mindset from “get to” instead of “have to”. For example, I get to work out instead of I have to work out.

-Lifestyle

Lifestyle factors influence just about everything from mental health to productivity.

If you’re not getting enough sleep and you’re not feeding yourself the right nutrients, your body and mind simply cannot perform well.

Make sure you are getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Limit your sugar and refined food intake. Exercise on most days.

You’ve heard it all before – but these are the absolute most important things you can do to improve your life as a whole, not just increase your productivity.

How Do I Prioritize Tasks on My To-Do List?

If you are overwhelmed, there is a good change you have a skewed sense of priorities.

What I mean by that is - you aren’t living in alignment with your true values. You aren’t focusing your efforts on what’s most important to you.

In order to get the most important tasks done, you must prioritize your goals and then strategically eliminate the lesser priority tasks.

Keep in mind that everything can’t be important. There can only be one top priority. If you are trying to do a million things, chances are the one thing that’s most important to you is not being given the attention it deserves.

So, ask yourself what you are missing out on by not prioritizing tasks that are most important to you and eliminating what’s not. The answer to that question will help you to understand the heavy costs of continuing your behavior.

To-Do Lists vs. Long Term Goals

Some people have one giant to-do list with everything on it.

And that’s why the list never gets done.

To-do lists should only include things that can be done now and completed in one step.

Aspirational “to-do’s” and projects that take multiple steps to complete should be saved for your brain dump.  (unfinished business creates stress – try writing things down to take a load off your mind).

However, the same principle applies when it comes to completing long term goals – what’s one thing you can do right now to move yourself closer to accomplishing your goal. What’s your next action step?

If it’s something that takes no more than 10 minutes, do it immediately.  

If it’s a multi-step goal that will take a while to complete, chunk it down into smaller goals until you have one thing that you can accomplish right away.

Or else, you may become so overwhelmed by the thought of the big goal that you never actually start to work towards it. Remember,

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway." - Earl Nightingale

Tackling Your Goals One Step at a Time

The Chunking Method

The formula for success when it comes to reaching your goals is to prioritize tasks and then tackle them one step at a time.

First, clearly define your goal – make sure it is SMART – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.

Then, make a list of all the steps it will take to accomplish your goal.

Keep breaking those steps down until you have a list of mini-goals.

Eventually, you will have one action step that will take no more than 10 minutes to complete. Do that now.

Keep moving through the list until you’ve completed all the mini goals and by the end, you will have reached your big goal!

This method works even if you are super busy. Just do the 10-minute action step and then at the same time the next day, do the next 10 minute action step, and so on and so forth.

Here are some Brain Dump Worksheets to help you prioritize tasks and goals- 

 Head over to the Freebie Library (a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content) to download your Brain Dump Worksheets.

How to Stay Focused and Motivated

Motivation is not a perpetual state of being; it waxes and wanes. You have to work on staying motivated to reach your goals.

One way to stay focused and motivated is to write your goal down and keep it somewhere visible. Studies show that people who write their goals down are more likely to achieve them.

But while you should keep in mind what your ultimate goal is, only focus on what you have to do right now.

Make a prioritized list for yourself either the night before or first thing in the morning. Your list should contain no more than 5 or 6 items max, but 1-2 prioritized tasks that must get done.

Number your tasks in order of importance from #1 to #5 in order of importance. Only focus on your to-do list for that day and consciously block out future tasks until immediate ones have been completed.

These small wins will help keep you motivated over time. Also, keep track of your successes- write them down, even the smallest ones. How will you celebrate those wins? Create a reward system and stick to it.

Two Ways to Efficiently Tackle Your To-Do List

There are two efficient ways to go about tackling your to-do list – see what works best for you.

Either “eat the frog” (paid link) and do the biggest, most daunting task first. Or get some easy, smaller tasks out of the way to create momentum.

(This is similar to the strategies used for paying off debt. There is the avalanche method which involves paying off debts from highest to lowest interest rate regardless of the balance. And then there is the snowball method, which involves paying off the smallest balances first while paying the minimum on larger debts. It’s all psychology! Which one works best for you?)

It is also important to review and edit your lists once a week because things change. It doesn’t make sense to stick to something that has become unrealistic or no longer works for you.

How to Find Time for Yourself

Through all of this, it’s important to find time for yourself.

So, what are some things you like to do? How can you make time for them?

What obstacles are in your way? How can you get rid of them?

Remember to pad your schedule and leave yourself time for self care.

Absolutely no one will die because you took time for yourself throughout the day.

You do have time for a morning yoga routine, exercise, meditation, breathing, bathing, and any other healthy habits that are important to you.

So, instead of thinking of it in terms of “finding” time, think of it as “making” time. Make time for yourself. Factor self care into your schedule.

It’s just as important if not more than everything else on your list. And what’s more, you won’t be able to do everything else on your list if you don’t take care of yourself first!

Self Care is Essential for Everyone

(Yes, even you and I don’t care how busy you are. In fact, the more busy you are, the more essential it is!)

What do you usually do in terms of self-care?

If you don’t practice self care regularly, ask yourself why you don’t make time for yourself?

Do you feel like you’re not worth it? Or that someone else deserves it more than you? That you’re just not that important? Or do you think self care is selfish?

If so, I encourage you to work on changing those limiting beliefs and understand what self care is really all about.

There are ways to incorporate mindfulness and self care into your everyday routine. For example:

-Take 5 minutes to meditate or stretch in bed

-Do a shower/bath meditation

-Meditate while practicing yoga

-Go for a walk

-Be mindful while washing dishes or cleaning

-Practice mindful eating

-Follow a Self Care Sunday routine

I hope these time management tips helped you to prioritize tasks and get more of the important stuff done while still making time for yourself.

I’m curious – do you prefer the avalanche or snowball method when it comes to tackling your to-do list? Leave a comment!

Share this & help someone else!

I’ve been working from home for about three years now, but I know many of you have only just recently started your work from home lifestyle due to the current health crisis.

There are so many things to consider when working from home for the first time - like how you will arrange your desk and computer or what you should do to keep yourself safe and healthy throughout the day.

So, if you’ve been wondering how to set up your home office to successfully work from home, you are in the right place!

Here are some tips for work from home success.

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission. 

3D Success, LLC. is also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Please read the Disclaimer for more info.

Setting Up Your Ergonomic Home Office Space

What Does Ergonomic Mean?

Also called human engineering, ergonomics is the science of fitting the work environment to the worker.

So, for example, if you are working at a computer all day, ergonomic considerations would include things like:

Ergonomics makes it easier and safer to use products and allows workers to perform tasks more efficiently.

It also reduces the risk of sustaining painful musculoskeletal injuries/disorders (MSDs) like tendonitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, back and neck pain, and other disorders involving muscles, tendons, ligaments, blood vessels, nerves, and joints.

So, if you are working from home, it is essential to ensure that your workspace is set up ergonomically so that you don’t develop painful, long-lasting MSDs.

Elements of an Ergonomic Workstation

Desk

If your office desk is too low, it can cause you to slouch over and develop back problems.

But if your desk is too high, it can lead to shoulder problems from holding your arms up in an unnatural position.

That’s why it’s so important to make sure that you have the proper size work desk.

Here’s a handy chart that tells you exactly how tall your office desk (both seated and standing) should be based on your height.

Considering that sitting all day cardiovascular disease, cancer, weight gain, and other harmful health effects, you may want to consider a standing desk.

There are also adjustable options that allow you to sit and stand intermittently throughout the day.

I purchased my desk from World Market (gift card), but there are plenty of good options on Amazon and other online retailers.

Chair

It’s also essential to have the right chair when working from home.

Some options to consider when choosing a home office chair include height/adjustable height and tilt, backrest, seat depth, armrests, and stability.

I purchased something similar to this gaming chair, (paid link) and while it was comfortable in the beginning, it ultimately did not last for as long as I would have liked.

Also, your feet should touch the floor. Which brings me to the next work from home office setup idea …

Footrest

If your desk or chair is too high and you aren’t in the market for getting a new one, try a footrest like this one. (paid link)

Back Pillow

Most office chairs do not have adequate back support.

Lumbar support is essential to preventing back injuries and promoting good posture.

If your chair does not have good lumbar support or you find yourself slouching over a lot, try getting a good back pillow. (paid link)

Computer

One of the most important elements of your work from home set up is your computer.

Your computer screen should be about arm’s length away and at eye level or slightly below.

If you’re having to look down at your screen, you will eventually develop neck problems so it’s important to adjust it to the proper height.

I purchased this monitor riser (paid link) and I love it, especially the side compartments for storage/organization!

Dual monitor risers (paid link) are also something to consider, especially if you are doing work that requires you to pull up multiple screens at once.

If you have a laptop, a riser with holes on the bottom like the one I have will also help keep your laptop cool.

External Mouse & Keyboard

If you do not have a desktop computer with a separate monitor, mouse, and ergonomic keyboard, (paid link) you have to be extra careful about your hand positioning.

I cannot overstate the importance of this – I’m currently suffering from lateral epicondylitis/tendonitis in my right arm and let me tell you, it is not fun!

First, I purchased a version of this ergonomic mouse (paid link) which was too big for my hand and just not comfortable, so I returned it and got this amazing mouse, (paid link) which I absolutely love! It’s just the right size and angle for my wrist.

Wrist rests

Your forearm and wrist should be in a straight line when using the keyboard and mouse; your wrist should not be angled upwards.

If you find it uncomfortable after using your computer for a while, you may want to consider getting a wrist rest for your work from home set up.

I have this wrist rest (paid link) as well as the longer version – I love that they are filled with comfort beads so they really conform to the shape of your arms and wrists (and they are way better than the ones I tried from Office Depot).

Document holder/organizer

Work from home musculoskeletal injuries typically occur due to awkward postures and repetitive motions.

So, when you’re working from home, reduce your range of motion when reaching for documents and office supplies.

Keep frequently-used items in reach, about an arm’s length away in front of you and on the sides of your computer/laptop.

There are many types and styles of document holders/organizers (paid link) to choose from for your home office set up.

 Check out the Freebie Library!
(a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content)

Home Office Design

Unlike a corporate work space, it’s entirely up to you how to design your home office!

Take advantage of this opportunity to design your space specifically for you.

A lot depends on the type of work you do, the amount of space you have to work with, and your personality.

However, some universal elements you may want to consider including in your home office setup include:

Plants

Plants remove toxins from the air that are often produced by furniture, carpet, and ink.

Not only that but they are natural humidifiers and they also help to boost your mood.

So, it’s a great idea to include some plants in your setup.

Here are some excellent choices of plants for your home office:

Color

It is so important to choose a color that you love for your home office – after all, you will be spending a considerable amount of time there.

You may want a colorful, inspiring environment or you may opt for a more clean, non-distracting look.

Just know that color definitely has a psychological effect, so choose wisely.

Here’s a little guide to how certain colors can influence you and the work you do in your home office:

• Yellow: optimism, creativity
• Green: energy, revitalization
• Brown: grounding, focus
• White: minimalist, organized
• Blue: calm, concentration
• Red: strength, stimulation
• Black: introspective, protection
• Orange: creativity, energy
• Purple: imagination, wisdom
• Gray: peace, tranquility
• Pink: nurturing, soothing

Even if you choose to paint the walls a neutral color, that doesn’t mean your space has to be all one note.

You can add pops of color and interest with accent pieces like lamps, decorative storage, artwork, an accent wall, or fun additions like chalkboards/pin boards.

Home Office Feng Shui

The two basic principles of feng shui are energy and flow.

The purpose of feng shui is to enhance the energy in your environment and allow it to flow in such a way that creates harmony and basically, good vibes.

Therefore, plants, color, furniture, and artwork will all help to create such an atmosphere.

Some other elements of good feng shui include:

Organization

The foundation of a successful home office set up is a clean and clutter free space. 

Mess creates stress and will not be conducive to working from home.

Too many distractions for your senses will decrease your concentration and productivity. So, make sure that your home office is clean and organized.

Generally, the way I like to clean and organize any space – home office, closet, kitchen, refrigerator, drawers, etc. is the same:

• First, take everything out.
• Then, sort the items & get rid of what you don’t need, use, or anything that’s broken/incomplete, etc.
• Finally, clean the area and then put the remaining items back neatly.

Positioning

Your home office should ideally be as far away from the bedroom as possible and diagonally facing the door.

The direction your home office faces also influences the color choices and elements you should include.  

For example:

• North- water element, blue, green
• South- fire element, red, orange, yellow
• East/Southeast- wood element, brown, green
• West/Northwest- metal element, white, gray
• Southwest/Northeast- earth element, beige, tan, light yellow, light brown

Scent

A good scent helps to enhance your mood and the energy in the room.

While you can use candles, incense, or sprays to make your home office smell nice, I really like essential oils because they are the most natural and healthy.

Before vaporizing the essential oils, try clearing out the energy with some bundled sage.(paid link)

I purchased this set of essential oils and this humidifier (paid links)from Amazon and I love them both!

Light

It’s really important to have some natural light in your home office. I actually have my home office set up in my living area, the room with the most windows.

Whatever you do, make sure your home office is not so dark that you have trouble seeing. You can always add lamps if there is not enough light in the room.

*Bonus feng shui lighting tip - put lights on each side of the door to your home office.

Air

Air is another essential component of your home office set up.

Make sure you have good air quality and circulation to maximize the feng shui in your home office and to benefit your health.

I almost always have the windows in my home office open for fresh air, which helps your body and mind to function optimally.

But if that is not an option for you, consider purchasing a good quality air purifier (paid link) and going for walks outside.

Safe & Healthy Work from Home Tips

If you want to stay healthy while working from home, you have to set some ground rules for yourself.

It’s way too easy to get caught up in your work and forget self-care.

Here are my best tips for staying safe and healthy while working from home:

Maintain a schedule

Maintaining a schedule will help you stay on track while you’re working from home.

Of course, that schedule can be flexible, but having a general structure to your day facilitates productivity.

For example, I get up between 5:00 and 5:45 am every morning – you may get up earlier or later depending on what you have going on for the day.

Mind your posture

It’s easy to get lazy and slouch when you’re in the comfort of your own home.

So, make sure you’re maintaining good posture throughout the day.

The consequences of bad posture are pretty severe – back pain, digestive issues, circulation problems, MSD's, and fatigue to name a few.

If you’re looking for a way to improve your posture, I highly recommend yoga.

Eat healthy & drink lots of water

When you’re working from home, food and snacks are just a few feet away and it’s ok for you to eat at your desk any time you want (because, who’s watching, right?).

That’s why it’s super important to make sure you eat healthy.

Stock up on fruits, vegetables, and other healthy foods for the week. Maybe even plan and prepare your lunches ahead of time.

Also, pay attention to how much water you are drinking.

Dehydration can lead to dizziness, rapid heartbeat, fatigue, urinary and kidney problems, seizures, and loss of consciousness.

How much water you should drink each day depends on several factors, including how old you are and how much you weigh.

I drink about a gallon a day, but you may differ. Generally, health experts recommend drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

Prevent eye strain

Give your poor eyes a break - they’re not made for staring at a computer screen for 8 hours a day.

If you don’t take a rest from looking at the screen, you may suffer from digital eye strain.

Here’s a great exercise to help protect your eyes – it’s called the 20-20-20 rule.

Every 20 minutes, stare at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds.

While doing this, it’s an opportune time to do some stretches and grab some water as well.

Also, make sure there is no glare on your computer screen. If there is, you can usually fix it by adjusting the brightness and contrast on your computer, placing lamps farther away from your monitor or reducing the amount of overhead light.

There are also anti-glare computer screens (paid link) that minimize the amount of light reflecting off your display – some even have a matte finish to reduce the shininess of the screen.

Protect your equipment

This is one of the most important factors of home office set up.

The last thing you want to happen is for you to suddenly lose all your hard work due to a power outage or a hacker!

Now that you are working from your personal computer at home, you need to ensure that it is safe and protected.

That’s why I recommend getting two essential things: 1- a heavy duty surge protector (paid link) and 2- anti-virus protection.

The type of protection you should get depends on how many devices you want to protect, how many features you want, and how much you are willing to spend.

I have had Avast anti-virus security (paid link) for the past couple years and I am really happy with it.

Take breaks

When you were going to work, you may have been required to take two 15-minute breaks and a half-hour or hour lunch at designated times.

But now that you are working from home, you may forget to take those breaks if you get caught up in your work and lose track of time.

So, make sure you are taking care of yourself while you’re working from home. A good rule of thumb is to get up and stretch or walk around every 20 minutes.

Just be mindful of how long you’ve been working/sitting and don’t overwork yourself or else you will become overwhelmed and burn out.

Hopefully, these home office set up tips helped - I wish you all the best & work from home success!

What's your favorite part about working from home? Leave a comment below.

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Share this & help someone else!

A success mindset is key to achieving anything in life.

Your mindset is the foundation upon which everything else is built – your goals, actions, and ultimate outcomes all flow from the way you think.

That’s why it’s so important to develop and maintain an optimistic, confident mindset.

When you’re positive, life is happier and good things tend to flow your direction.

And although it does take some time and effort, you can achieve the success mindset you need to achieve your goals.

I’ve compiled a list of 30 simple activities you can do over the course of 30 days to enhance your outlook on yourself and your life.

Are you ready to participate in the 30-day success mindset challenge?

If so, let’s get started!

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.  Please read the Disclaimer for more info.*

Head over to the Freebie Library 
to download your 30-Day Success Mindset Challenge!

Free 30-Day Success Mindset Challenge: 30 Activities in 30 Days

1. No complaining

It’s easy to get into the habit of complaining. “I’m tired”, “I don’t want to”, “I don’t like this”, etc.

Often, we don’t even realize how much complaining we actually do. And that’s unfortunate because it can really have a negative effect on our state of mind.

So, try to not complain for a whole day. Mindfully monitor what you say and make sure you are not voicing complaints.

*Bonus points if you shift your mental complaints to thoughts of gratitude (i.e. instead of “I hate working out or I have to work out”, think “I get to work out”.)

2. Transform 3 limiting beliefs

Do you have any limiting beliefs?

Chances are, you are harboring some negative beliefs about yourself, others, or the world in general that are holding you back.

But you have the power to transform those limiting beliefs to empowering ones.

For example, “I can’t” --> “I can’t yet”.

Identify 3 of your limiting beliefs and challenge yourself to transform them into empowering beliefs.

Check out this post for examples of some common limiting beliefs and how you can change them.

3. Repeat 3 positive affirmations

Ever heard the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?”

Nothing could be further from the truth!

Words are powerful – both negative and positive.

Research shows that repeating self-affirmations can curb negative outcomes and improve education, health, and relationships.

The key to using affirmations for your success mindset is to state them in the positive and present tense.

So, for example a good self-affirmation would not be “I’m going to lose weight” but rather, “I love my body” or “I make healthy food choices and I am grateful for how my body works”.

Some other examples of positive affirmations include:

“I ... 

-love my life.”

-accomplish whatever I set my mind to.”

-am enough.”

-radiate confidence and optimism.”

4. Do a gratitude exercise

There are numerous benefits to expressing gratitude.

In today’s fast-paced, “bigger, better, more” society, it’s easy to lose sight of all the things we have to be grateful for.

But appreciating what we already have is essential to long-term happiness, confidence, and resilience.

To help adopt a success mindset, try doing a gratitude exercise like journaling. Write down what you are grateful for, such as:

• Act of kindness-
• Convenience-
• Display of mercy-
• Family member-
• Fortuitous event-
• Friend-
• Knowledge/lesson-
• Often overlooked blessing-
• Personality trait-
• Pleasant surprise-
• Simple thing-
• Skill/strength-
• Talent-
• Test of character-
• Teacher/Mentor-
• Unique experience-

Check out this article for more examples of gratitude journal prompts and exercises, which are also available for download in the Freebie Library. 

5. Meditate

There are so many science-backed benefits of meditation.

Not only does it naturally reduce stress & anxiety, enhance self-awareness, and improve self-esteem, it also helps us to maintain a success mindset.

Meditating for just 20 minutes a day will improve your mindset exponentially.

Try sitting still and allowing your thoughts to pass without judging them.

Simply acknowledge your negative thoughts objectively and let them pass, continuing to still your mind as much as you can.

Here’s a guided mindfulness meditation to help you:

6. Be mindful

Simply being mindful throughout your day can be dramatically transformative when it comes to maintaining a success mindset.

And the great thing is that you don’t need any special skills or an abundance of free time to do it.

You can be mindful while going about your daily routine.

Need some ideas on how to be more mindful? Here are 15 ways to incorporate mindfulness into your everyday life.

7. Do a social media detox

Social media can really harm your mental health and put a damper on your success mindset.

Studies have shown that despite its surface appearance of connectedness, social media can actually cause feelings of social isolation and depression.

Social media can be addictive and when you’re constantly online, it can lead to less overall life satisfaction – mainly because you’re not actually living your life.

Read this article for ideas on how to cut down on your social media usage & to get a free usage tracker.

8. Unfollow negative influences

While you’re at it, why not unfollow accounts/people that are having a negative effect on your mindset?

Comparison is the thief of joy.

When we compare ourselves to others, it can breed jealousy, low self-worth, and depression.

And the thing about social media is that we may not even be comparing ourselves to something that’s real.

Plenty of people only present what they want others to see online. And that creates a situation in which you’re comparing your real life to someone else’s fake highlight reel – not healthy!

So, go ahead and remove those negative influences from your feeds.

9. Journal

Journaling is one of the best ways to cultivate a success mindset.

It can help give you clarity and insight into challenging or confusing situations.

And it can help you work through the obstacles that are holding you back from success.

If you have trouble identifying or dealing with your feelings/emotions, journaling may help you to do so.

Set some time aside at the beginning or the end of your day to journal in whatever way helps you support your success mindset.

10. Perform an act of kindness

"For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.” – Saint Francis of Assisi

In helping others, you help yourself.

To have a positive mindset, you have to be in a good place mentally – and performing acts of kindness helps you do that.

By helping others out of the goodness of our hearts, we improve our emotional well-being and open ourselves up to success.

Today, do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. Notice the healing effects it has on your soul and how it improves your mindset.

11. Challenge yourself

Fear of failure is perhaps the single biggest thing that holds people back from their true potential.

That fear stems from a fixed mindset.

Those with a fixed mindset believe that their abilities, skills, and intelligence are immutable whereas those with a growth mindset believe that they are able to improve with effort over time.

Having a growth mindset allows you to not place so much emphasis on the outcome or external praise and rather focus on the internal satisfaction that comes from the journey.

Today, challenge yourself to do something new - and rather than be scared of the possibility of failure, be excited about the opportunity to learn and grow.

12. List 3 of your unique talents/skills

Sometimes, it’s easier to notice other people’s good qualities than to recognize your own.

Especially if you are humble or you struggle with self-confidence, it can be difficult to pursue big goals/dreams.

Chances are, you are capable of much more than you think and you have way more going for you than you give yourself credit for.

Today, list 3 of your unique talents/skills. What do you excel at that most others do not?

If you have trouble with this exercise, try to think of yourself as your family or friends would – maybe even ask them what some of your best qualities are.

13. Don't judge others negatively

It’s simply not nice to go around judging others negatively – just think, would you want someone to do that to you?

Remember that it’s not really about the person whom you are judging, but rather it’s about you.

So, for example if you are insecure about your appearance, you may be more likely to judge others about theirs.

Those with a healthy success mindset do not feel the need to judge others negatively. Instead, they look for the good and give people the benefit of the doubt.

14. List 3 positive characteristics

List 3 positive characteristics about yourself.

Are you a kind and empathetic person?

Are you a loyal, trustworthy companion?

Do you have a good work ethic?

Everyone has positive characteristics that will help them to succeed in life.

Recognize these qualities in yourself and think about how they will facilitate the accomplishment of your goals.

15. Name something you’re proud of

What are you most proud of?

And what does that say about you?

Acknowledging our past accomplishments (and knowing what we are capable of) helps us to succeed in the future.

This is a great exercise especially if you tend to doubt your abilities or potential.

Download this as a PDF in the Freebie Library!

16. Learn from a role model

Having a role model to look up to isn’t just for kids.

As adults, role models can motivate us and show us examples of what’s possible.

Seeing and emulating their habits of success is extremely useful when it comes to self-improvement.

Who’s your role model?

If it’s someone you don’t personally know, research everything you can about them to see how they got to where they are today.

If it’s someone you do know personally, ask them questions. Gaining insight into their trials and tribulations, failures, and inspiration can help you form a powerful success mindset.

17. Learn from past failures

Every failure is a learning opportunity.

So, think about a time when things didn’t go as you desired.

What lesson did you learn from that and how can that benefit you in the future?

Today, reflect upon your “failures” and rather than ruminate on the negative aspects, focus on the valuable lessons they taught you.

18. Write down your definition of success

If you’ve been a reader of this blog for a while, then you know that I believe in having your own definition of success.

Society would have you believe that certain things make you successful like money, possessions, popularity, looks, etc.

But, those things are not fulfilling for everybody.

Each person has their own vision of happiness, success, and fulfillment.

It’s important to identify what that vision is for you so that you will know what you are working towards and when you have achieved it.

So today, write down your definition of success.

19. Get inspired 

Nothing puts you in a success mindset like motivational/ inspirational content.

So, watch a TED Talk, listen to a podcast, or read a book.

No one can stay motivated all the time – it waxes and wanes. But, in order to reach your goals, you need to make sure your motivation doesn’t disappear entirely.

Read this article for more tips on how to motivate yourself to chase your dreams.

20. Declutter your physical environment

It’s hard to maintain a positive mindset if your physical environment is cluttered.

Mess creates stress!

So, clean up your space. You need an environment that promotes success. Especially if you are working from home.

Depending on how big or messy your home is, you may want to tackle only one room at a time.

Today, clean and organize at least one room.

21. Do a brain dump

Your physical environment is not the only thing that needs regular clean-ups.

Your brain does as well!

One of the biggest causes of overwhelm is when we have too much on our minds.

Getting all that information out on paper really helps to reduce the stress that comes with day to day life.

Check out this post for instructions on how to do a brain dump and download your free brain dump worksheets from the Freebie Library.

22. Write down 1 goal

Research shows that writing down your goals makes you significantly more likely to actually achieve them.

So today, write down one goal that you have for yourself. Getting clarity on exactly what you want to achieve is the first step towards achieving it.

Stick to only one big goal. Even if you have several, focusing on only one at a time will help ensure that you don’t get overwhelmed and wind up dropping the ball or perpetually having lots of unfinished goals at once.

There are some goal setting worksheets in the Freebie Library to help you set SMART big goals and break them down into manageable mini-goals.

23. Find the silver lining

“Character is forged in the fires of adversity.”

Think of a negative event that happened to you and find the silver lining.

Usually, it’s not all bad and you can identify something beneficial about the situation.

Did it provide you with an opportunity to learn something?

Has it made you stronger, wiser, better in some way?

Did it pave the way for something better to come into your life?

Personally, what helps me get through bad times is remembering that even the most stressful, uncomfortable, or heartbreaking situations provide opportunities for personal/spiritual growth.

24. Identify an opportunity for improvement 

One of the best ways to increase your confidence and enhance your success mindset is to improve yourself.

Self-improvement comes in many forms – it can relate to your physical being, intelligence, habits, mindset, career, or whatever aspect of your life you want to improve.

Check out this post for guidance on how to create a personal development plan.

25. Get active

There are tons of mental health benefits to exercise.

Research has shown that it relieves stress and anxiety, boosts happiness, improves sleep and memory, increases self-esteem, and helps with overcoming trauma.

So today, get those endorphins going!

If you already exercise regularly, try something new and challenge yourself.

I recommend yoga and walking/hiking/running outside for their mood-boosting effects.

26. Listen to music

Music is uniquely powerful in its ability to affect our mood.

It can not only lift the spirits but music has also been shown to enhance athletic performance, promote a state of flow, alleviate stress and anxiety, and even accelerate healing.

It doesn’t have to be any particular type of music; simply listen to whatever motivates you.

27. Contact a supportive friend

Studies show that friends help us to stay healthy, perform better, and achieve more.

So, reach out to someone who is supportive of you and your life goals.

Just talking to that person and reminding yourself that there are people who believe in you can give you a much-needed mental boost.

28. Get at least 8 hours of sleep

Lack of adequate sleep affects your body and mind in several profound ways.

To name a few, being sleepy impairs memory and reaction time, makes you more likely to make poor decisions, and makes it more difficult to learn.

Additionally, it can put a damper on your mood, making you more cranky and negative – not good if you’re trying to maintain a success mindset!

So tonight, make sure you get a full 8-9 hours of sleep (and don’t be scrolling on your phone before bed! The blue light interferes with your circadian rhythm and inhibits your body’s production of melanin, the sleep hormone).

29. Name 3 good things that happened to you today

Today, write down 3 good things that happened to you.

It doesn’t have to be something huge like winning the lotto. It can be small things like having a moment of peace, sharing a moment of laughter, or enjoying a meal.

Being more mindful and appreciating the simple things in life leads to an improved mindset and a happier life.

This goes hand in hand with gratitude – taking time to savor your experiences and celebrate your accomplishments will help you to develop a positive, success mindset.

30. List 3 inspirational quotes

Quotes, like music, can evoke emotions within us and inspire us to take action.

Keeping certain quotes in mind can really go a long way towards maintaining a success mindset.

Put yourself in the right frame of mind today by either reminding yourself of some of your favorite quotes or learning some new ones.

Here are a few I love:

Inspirational Quotes

- “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.” -J. K. Rowling, The Harry Potter Series

- “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”  – Albert Einstein

- “The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves, but in our attitude towards them.” - Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

- “Men spend their lives in anticipations, in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other – it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.”- Charles Caleb Colton

- “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”- Mark Twain

- “Don’t wait; the time will never be just right.” -Napoleon Hill

Check out this article for more inspirational quotes about life, love, and happiness.

Are you planning on participating in this 30 Day Success Mindset Challenge? Which activity are you most looking forward to? Tell me in the comments!

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No matter how nice you are, how successful you are, or how hard you try – there will always be someone with something bad to say.

Negative people are just a part of life.

And since we can’t change it, we’ve got to learn how to handle it.

Because if we don’t, haters, complainers and naysayers can really take a toll on our mental health.

So, here are some tips on how to deal with the negative people in your life.

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.  Please read the Disclaimer for more info.*

1. Stay the course.

Bad behavior and negative comments are more so a reflection on the giver than the receiver.

So, if someone says something mean about you or acts ugly towards you, remember that it is a manifestation of something going on inside of them.

It could be due to a number of reasons, including jealousy/insecurity, lack of empathy, limiting beliefs, deep-seated psychological issues, etc.

It’s definitely not something you should take to heart.

And while you may feel the initial pain caused by their words or actions, it’s important not to internalize it too much.

If you ruminate on their behavior and allow them to hurt you deeply or dissuade you from your goals, they win.

Don’t let evil win! Fortify your defenses and take control over your emotions.

When you let others have control over your emotions, you are vulnerable to emotional instability and poor mental health.

Remember that you have the power to decide how things will ultimately affect you and how you will react.

No one can take that away from you.

2. Don’t try to change them.

Typically, people don’t change.

And if they do, it’s usually due to a personal epiphany stemming from a personal experience, not because of outside unsolicited advice and/or criticism!

So, while your intentions may be good, chances are they won’t take it that way – especially if he or she is a negative person. They’ll probably just remain impervious to your attempts and/or think that you are against them.

Their negativity is the result of their natural disposition combined with life experiences. It’s built upon a sturdy foundation of thoughts, perceptions and beliefs they developed over time about themselves and the world.

Your words of wisdom or insight in the moment will probably not penetrate their thick wall of negativity.

What probably will happen though, is that their negativity will suck the life right out of you!

So, you’ve got to protect yourself. And in order to do so, it’s best to just listen politely while maintaining emotional distance.

This can be especially challenging if you are an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP) like me.

As someone who feels empathy on a deep level, I always want to try and fix the situation, to solve their problem, to change their perspective.

But remember that it is not your job to fix them or the situation. Nor is it likely that you will succeed in doing so.

The best thing you can do is lead by example and hope that you inspire them to change.

Check out the Freebie Library!
(a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content) 

3. Don’t let them change you. 

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Due to COVID-19 and the resulting shelter-in-place orders around the world, many people are now working from home.

If they’re lucky, that is.

Others are left scrambling, trying to figure out how to make a living since they’ve been laid off from their jobs. Or trying to get a side hustle going to supplement their diminished income.

That’s why in today’s post, I’m going to discuss one of the best opportunities for those who want to survive in today’s freelance, work from home, social distancing, gig economy.

It’s something that anyone with a Wi-Fi connection can do. It costs very little to start up. And the potential for success is practically unlimited!

I’m talking about blogging.

(*Related article: 10 Ways to Make Money Blogging)

It’s 2020 and starting a blog has never been easier.

So, if you haven’t started a blog because you didn’t think you could do it or you thought it wasn’t “the right time”, think again.

Now is the perfect time to give it a go.

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.  Please read the Disclaimer for more info.*

If I Can Do It, You Can Too!

Gone are the days in which one had to be some sort of technological wizard in order to build a website – if you’ve got drive, commitment, and a willingness to learn, you can do it.

I’ve been blogging for a year and a half now and boy have I learned a lot!

Related article: What You Can Learn from My First Year of Blogging

Before I started this blog, I had absolutely no prior relevant experience – in fact, I didn’t even know what a blog actually was.

I had zero coding, graphic design, or other technological skills, and no marketing or copywriting experience.

I didn’t know anyone in the blog-o-sphere. And I didn’t have any friends/family who would be willing to share my content or help me get my blog off the ground.

But in this short time, I’ve managed to go from 0 to 1.5 million monthly views on Pinterest and exponentially increase the traffic to my blog – which continues to go up each month.

So, I wanted to share my methods and tools with you in the hopes that they help you to achieve blogging success.

Here’s how I consistently get over 1 million monthly views on Pinterest – and you can too.

Check out the Freebie Library!
(a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content)

Also, you can get both your domain name and hosting through them, which I prefer because I think it’s easier to have as many services as possible through the same provider.

I save them to 10 of my relevant boards, spread out over the course of 2 weeks, along with other blogger’s pins that are relevant to my topics.

Pinterest has been the single biggest, most essential key to my blogging success. It drives the majority of my blog traffic and there really is a beautiful community of bloggers to connect with.

Pinterest not only drives free traffic to your site, but pins have a longer “shelf life” than other content like Facebook posts or Tweets.

You also have the potential for one of your pins to go viral right from the start, unlike other platforms where you must already have a significant following for any of your content to get any traction.

But the thing about Pinterest is that you have to post an average of 30 times a day for optimal results. And it’s difficult to figure out when exactly you should be posting.

Tailwind: The Most Powerful Tool for Pinterest &Blogging Success

That’s why I use Tailwind. Tailwind is an automated pin scheduler – you can save pins in a queue in advance and have them go out at their scheduled times.

It saves me from having to manually pin all day every day. I can save as many pins as I want to whatever boards I want for as far out as I want!

And the best part is that Tailwind tells you when your audience is most active -so you know exactly when you should be posting your content.

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Share this & help someone else!

OK, so you've come up with your 3 personal development goals.

And now, we are ready to dive into the second and final part of the Personal Development Plan Ultimate Guide.

In Part 1, we discussed:
-What is Personal Development?
-Why Do You Need a Personal Development Plan?
-Defining Your Personal Development Goals

In this blog post (Part 2), we will discuss:
-How Are You Going to Reach Your Personal Development Goals?
-Personal Development Planning 101
-Implementing Your Personal Development Plan

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission.  Please read the Disclaimer for more info.*

Head over to the Freebie Library 
(a regularly updated collection of free, downloadable self-help content)

So, now that you have your personal development goals, you have to make a plan for how you’re going to reach them.

Because as I mentioned in the first part of this series, a goal without a plan is just a wish.

And you don’t want to just wish, right? You want to see the changes actually happen in your life!

Well, guess what - you can accomplish the goals you set for yourself.

And you can make the whole process a whole lot easier by simply coming up with a plan of attack.

How Are You Going to Reach Your Personal Development Goals?

Set a SMART Goal

When crafting your goal, think about whether it meets the SMART goal criteria:

• Specific- Your goal should be clear, detailed and specific.
• Measurable- You should be able to track your progress and realize when you’ve achieved it.
• Achievable- It should be a realistic goal (some goals are just not achievable, but then again, that's often a result of how they're framed. For example, “Lose 20 pounds in a month” … It’s not that you can’t lose 20 pounds, but you probably couldn’t – and shouldn’t! – do it in just one month.)
• Relevant- Is your goal relevant to your life purpose/definition of success/intrinsic desires? Make sure it’s not an externally-driven goal but rather one that is truly based on your own personal growth.
• Time-bound- Set time limits for yourself. You can always change them later.

*Positive- There is one more element I’d like to include when it comes to setting your personal development goal – word it in the positive, not the negative.

For example, “Learn to control my emotions” or “Take 10 deep breaths when I start to get angry” is better than “Stop getting so angry”.

Personal Development Planning 101

Write It Down

If you want to increase your chances of reaching any goal, write it down.

Writing down your goal may seem like a small step, maybe even one that you don’t think is important enough to do.

But, it can actually mean the difference between reaching your goal and falling short. Here’s why:

• When you write your goal down, you give yourself a tangible source of motivation. You will never forget what you are working towards because it’s written down and you can look at it every single day. There are even studies showing that people who write their goals down achieve them at a much higher level than those who don’t.
• You have to process a whole lot of information on a daily basis. In a process called encoding, our brain decides which information will be stored long-term and which information can be discarded. Writing down your goal helps the brain to encode it – essentially, to realize that the information is important enough to hold onto.
• It helps to keep you accountable. When you write your goal down, especially when you use positive language, you make a written agreement with yourself, which (as with actual, legal contracts) is a lot harder to break than a verbal one.

Do a SWOT Analysis

A SWOT analysis is typically used in a business/professional context in order to gain a competitive advantage.

But I think it has relevancy when it comes to personal development goals as well, especially if you are trying to figure out whether your goal is Achievable.

The SWOT analysis helps you to see where you’re at now and what’s standing in your way of where you want to go in the future.

SWOT stands for:

Strengths- What do you bring to the table? Think of all the strengths that will help you achieve your personal development goal. Also, how might external factors (other than your personal strengths) help you to achieve your goal?

Weaknesses- Where do you fall short? What things do you think might be a disadvantage when it comes to achieving your goal?

Opportunities- What opportunities does your goal present you with? How will accomplishing it benefit you?

Threats- Which external threats might you face when trying to achieve your goal? What could pose a threat to your success that’s outside your control?

Chunk Your Personal Development Goals Down

It’s great to set a big, audacious goal in the beginning stages of your personal development plan.

But in order to get results, you will need to chunk it down.

What I mean by “chunk it down” is break your big personal development goal down into the smaller steps required to achieve it.

Not only will this help prevent you from getting overwhelmed but it will also make it much more likely that you will actually reach your goal.

So, for example, “Lose 20 pounds in four months” becomes:

• Eat three healthy meals and 3 healthy snacks per day
• Exercise four times a week for at least 30 minutes

Which becomes:

• Plan healthy meals & make grocery list for the week
• Buy only the items on your list (do not bring junk food into the house)
• Go to zumba class on Monday at 6pm, lift weights on Tuesday and Thursday at the gym from 6pm to 7pm, do yoga videos at home on Saturday from 8am to 9am.

Which finally becomes a mini-goal that you can accomplish right now:

• Eat a salad with chicken breast for lunch
• Book your exercise classes ahead of time/ make concrete plans with an exercise buddy

When you’ve finally achieved all the mini-goals required to achieve your big personal development goal, then you will naturally have accomplished your mission!

Once you begin to really break it down, you may realize that your big goal requires more effort, skill, or time than you originally thought. And that’s OK - as long as you’re honest with yourself and you stay committed.

Implementing Your Personal Development Plan

TROVE Example

Not many of you know this about me but I like to play a video game named Trove.

If you are quarantined at home, you may want to give it a try - it's super fun!

Trove is a voxel MMORPG where players can explore different realms, collect resources, fight dungeon bosses and dragons, build cornerstones and club worlds, engage in PVP combat, customize their characters, chat with other players, level up gear, and much more.

The way this video game works is a great example of how to go about implementing your personal development plan.

For example, I love collecting dragon mounts like this one, the Gold Primordial Dragon, "Scintilla of the Sky".

The Big Goal

The next dragon I would like to have is the Bubble Dragon ("Sarsaponia, The Pristine"). 

So, let’s see what it takes to craft him:

• 300 dragon coins
• 25,000 flux
• 1800 Jumping Jadefins
• 700 Golden Seashells
• 100 Bubble Dragon Egg Fragments

Chunk Down the Big Goal

Now, let’s take each of those in turn –

• In order to get dragon coins, players can complete Hourly Challenges, win them in Dragon Caches, have them produce regularly from a Tome, or buy them (either with in-game currency called Flux in the Marketplace or for actual money in the game Store).

• To earn flux, players can turn loot which they earn from defeating bosses into the Loot Collector, win it in Adventure Chests, in various types of caches, upon completing dungeons, or from selling stuff in the Marketplace.

• To catch Jumping Jadefins, a player can either fish for them him/herself or trade them for something (flux, gear, etc.) with another player.

• To obtain Golden Seashells, players must go to the Drowned Worlds and blast open Golden Seashell crates.

• To collect Bubble Dragon Egg fragments, players must (as with Jumping Jadefins) fish for them.

Keep Chunking it Down

These mini goals can be broken down even further:

• To complete the hourly challenges more efficiently (thereby earning more dragon coins), players must raise the power rank, mastery rank and gem power rank of their character. This can be done by collecting new gear, leveling up existing gear, collecting mounts and allies, and performing tasks such as gardening and fishing.

• Higher level gear and dragon eggs yield higher amounts of flux. So, to get higher amounts of flux, players must defeat higher level dungeons and slay dragons in various biomes in order to collect dragon eggs which they may then turn into flux at the Loot Collector.

• Blasting Golden Seashell crates is a lot easier if you have either a dragon that shoots or a boat with a cannon. Boats can be purchased from various merchants for in-game currency/items, built at the Nautical Assembler, earned for gaining milestone levels of Mastery or purchased for credits in the in-game Store.

• To fish for Jumping Jadefins (and Bubble Dragon egg fragments), players must have a fishing pole and lures, both of which can be purchased with Glim (a collectable resource in each biome) from a merchant named Saltwater Sam located in the Hub.

1 Big Goal = Many Small Goals

So, you see, in order to get the Bubble Dragon, there are many mini-goals I must accomplish. It’s very methodical.

And I know that once I achieve all those little steps, the Bubble Dragon shall be mine!

It works the same way with your personal development plan – there are your big personal development goals and then there are all the little steps it will take to achieve them.

Make Time for What's Important to You

We all struggle with not having enough time.

There are only so many hours in the day and you are only one person.

But if you try to do all the things, not only will you fall short but you will also burn out.

And that’s not helpful to you or anyone else. Self-care is something you must always find time for no matter what else is going on.

So even though it may seem like “there’s just not enough time” now, evaluate your schedule. See what activities you can cut out (but NOT self-care!)

If your personal development goals are really important to you, you’ll make time for them. 

And since you are breaking your big goal down into smaller and smaller mini-goals, you should definitely have time to achieve them.

I recommend writing down 1-3 mini-goals per day that will get you closer to achieving your big goal.

Only do what you can realistically do. If you can complete all levels of an hourly challenge, turn in 1,000 flux-worth of loot and collect 25 fish today, then great!

If you are only able to complete the first level of an hourly challenge, turn in 500 flux-worth of gear and collect 10 fish, then great!

You are still making progress towards your goal. And as long as you are consistent, that’s all that matters.

Share this & help someone else!