Share this & help someone else!

This past year has been a doozy, to say the least. A LOT has happened, but I will just give you the highlights.

Following my dad’s cancer diagnosis, my husband and I decided to move from our beloved state of Colorado last July to be close to my parents in Florida.

Two months before we left on our cross-country trek, our family dog (who we had since he was just 2 months old) got sick and died at the age of 17. 

While we were there, my husband was in constant pain and was losing his vision in one eye. It took many tests at various places and lots of all-day hospital visits to finally determine that he had a rare form of eye cancer as well as a detached retina which rendered him blind in the eye.

The type of cancer that he had is called ocular melanoma (five in a million odds) and he had the largest tumor any of the doctors had ever seen. It could only be treated by this one hospital in Miami, and he had to stay isolated there for four days while he received radiation treatment that was not guaranteed to work.

We didn’t have health insurance and we had just moved across the country, so all the flights and medical expenses quickly piled up and ate through our savings. We also racked up quite a bit of debt.

 Just before Christmas, we were unable to make our rent and had to move out in less than 2 weeks. So we moved to Louisiana, where my husband’s family is from, and where the rent is much less expensive. 

All this time, I was trying to manage the Etsy business and my husband was trying to find work in a new state while battling cancer. We finally moved into our own place in February (we moved 4 times in this one year!) and managed to stabilize a little bit.

But then in June- just before Father’s Day- I had a miscarriage and the day after, my husband had a heart attack.

Fortunately, his heart stent seems to be holding up well and his cancer is in regression. I’ve also recovered physically, if not emotionally, and we are doing a lot better now, though we still struggle. 

I am normally a very private person, but I want to share my story because I know that there are a lot of people who are going through tough times as well and sometimes it can feel very lonely, like no one truly understands.

One of the positive things to come out of my difficult situation is that I can be more empathetic to those in similar positions. Our experiences in life, although they may be difficult, teach us lessons and mold us into better people, so there’s often a silver lining depending on the way you look at things.

I’m not completely healed, and I still have tough days/moments, but I have found some healthy ways to cope, so I am sharing them to hopefully help others who are dealing with hardships on their own. If you’re in a dark place, I hope something in this blog post provides you with at least a glimmer of light.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

How Do I Deal With Difficult Times in My Life?

One small thing

Do one small thing – even if you don’t want to. Doing that one small thing is often enough to make you feel just better enough to do another small thing … and on and on until you actually pull yourself out of the funk.

This is known as the snowball effect. When a snowball rolls down a snow-covered hill, it becomes bigger and faster as it gathers more snow and gains more momentum.

This process is not only true for snowballs but for many situations in life in which one seemingly insignificant thing leads to another, eventually leading to a significant outcome.

For example, just stretch. While you’re stretching, you may feel good enough to do some exercise.

Get in the shower. While you’re in there, you may feel good enough to exfoliate and wash your hair.

Pull out a pen and paper. Start by writing just one thing you are grateful for. After you write it, you may think of more things you are grateful for, or just things you want to write down to get off your chest.

The point is to get yourself moving in the right direction without feeling overwhelmed. Getting started is usually the hardest part. Once you do that one small thing, you will naturally build momentum as you go along.

So just do something, no matter how small.

Change of scenery

Force your brain to process new surroundings – it’s linked to enhanced happiness, according to a recent study.

When you have a new experience, it creates a boost of positive emotion, in addition to increasing creativity --which can provide you with a fresh perspective.

Changing up your daily routine and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone may be just what you need for a “reset”. It doesn’t have to be anything monumental.

Once again, the key is not to overwhelm yourself any further - you're already going through a hard time. Try something small like taking a different route, going on a day trip, or trying a new activity.

If you spend a lot of time indoors, try to spend some time outside. Nature is a natural antidote to stress. Evidence suggests that connecting with nature improves wellbeing and there are numerous studies that demonstrate the mental health benefits of spending time in nature.

Nature therapy can include activities like:
-gardening
-stargazing
-green exercise
-arts and crafts
-spending time with animals
-hiking
-or anything you can enjoy outside in nature

Clean, organize, and decorate

Your environment has an impact on your mental health. Pay attention to what’s in your immediate surroundings – how does your space make you feel?

I work from home so I’m often at my desk and yet it wasn’t until recently that I decorated my space with colorful things that make me happy. It’s amazing how much aesthetics can affect mood.

Another thing that helps is clearing clutter. For me, mess causes stress!

Studies have shown that because we see our home as an extension of ourselves, there is a link between the state of the home (cluttered or organized) and psychological well-being. A cluttered environment can impede your ability to focus, cause anxiety, and even lead to increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

Consider your lighting and air flow as well. I am super sensitive to harsh overhead light and prefer lamps with low-wattage amber light.

Do you have enough natural light coming in during the day? Maybe you could use an essential oil diffuser or some air-purifying plants. Maybe you’d like to have some meaningful artwork on the wall or some photos of loved ones.

Organizing your space can help you to feel in control, more relaxed, and happier. I start by pulling everything out of drawers and taking everything off surfaces, putting everything into a big pile. Then, I clean and separate the pile into categories, getting rid of as much as possible along the way. Once I’m finished, I like to light a candle to sort of cleanse the space. This can serve as a calming ritual whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Distract yourself

If you notice yourself spiraling, distract yourself with something positive and uplifting.

Again, this may not work at first but give it some time. The trick is to disrupt the negative thought pattern and bring your attention to the present moment.

Having a self-care plan is especially important for hard times like this so you don’t have to waste valuable mental energy deciding what to do.

Do whatever works for you -read some motivational quotes, curl up with a novel, look at cute photos, watch funny videos on YouTube, binge watch a show, play video games, bake a cake … anything that will temporarily take your mind off your current situation.

One thing I like to do is the five-finger breathing exercise (see video below for demonstration). 

It is a multisensory exercise that involves sight and touch, which is why it works so well in distracting the brain from negative thoughts. It also relaxes your parasympathetic nervous system and sends a signal to the brain that you are safe.

Here’s how to do it: spread your fingers apart on one hand. With the pointer finger of the other hand, slowly trace up the outside of your pinky finger as you take a deep breath. Hold for a couple seconds and then trace down the inside of your pinky finger as you exhale. Continue this for all five fingers, inhaling as you trace up and exhaling as you trace down.

Follow 3D Success on Instagram for more self-care ideas.

Lift weights

The single thing that has helped me through my hardships the most is lifting weights. It’s like even though I might be feeling weak mentally, I can still feel strong physically. Which in turn helps me to feel stronger mentally.

Also, any type of exercise releases dopamine and endorphins, which chemically lifts your spirits and energy. If you really exert yourself, it also has the dual benefit of lifting your mood and helping you sleep better.

Strength/resistance training builds resilience not only in the body but also in the mind; it helps to release trauma that is stored in the body and trains the body to better handle future stressful events. So, weightlifting is not only a quick fix for anxiety; it’s also a long-term solution. For me, lifting weights and yoga have been two of the most helpful coping mechanisms and I do both almost every day.

Interestingly, studies and research suggests that:
-females are even more sensitive to the anxiety-reducing effects of resistance exercise than males
-resistance exercise enhances the effects of other modes of exercise, such as aerobics, balance, and flexibility exercises
-in a clinical trial, resistance exercise significantly improved anxiety and significantly reduced depressive symptoms among research participants

Protect your peace

Once you’ve gotten yourself to a peaceful place, don’t let anyone pop that bubble.

Just because someone else is being mean or rude doesn’t mean you have to return that same energy. If someone else is in a bad mood, that doesn’t mean yours has to be ruined.

You have to guard yourself against things that will suck your energy or bring down your vibration. It can be difficult at times, especially if you tend to people-please, but your mental well-being simply must be safeguarded.

This is something I still struggle with as a highly sensitive, empathetic person. Maintaining your inner peace amidst chaos is no easy task.

I’ve learned that it is something you have to work on before you are in the difficult situation.  I do this with yoga (which sets the tone for the day), mindfulness, and filtering the things I watch, hear, and read.

Social media and television in particular can really have an influence on your state of mind and the way you see the world. So, be careful what you allow your brain to consume.

It’s also important to set healthy boundaries around your time and your energy. Notice what things/people trigger you and try to eliminate or lessen those influences.

For example, if there is someone who always complains or has something negative to say or makes you feel bad about yourself, distance yourself from that person. If your schedule is already full and someone asks for a favor or invites you to an event, say no (and don’t feel guilty about it).

People who care about you and want the best for you will respect your boundaries. Toxic people will not. If someone is repeatedly disrespecting your boundaries, you need to decide whether you are willing to accept that behavior forever. If not, it may be time to cut that person out of your life – your serenity is more important than that relationship.

Help others 

Taking your mind off yourself for a little bit may be the best thing for you when you’re ruminating or catastrophizing about your difficult situation.

Focusing that attention on helping others has the added benefit of helping you as well.

Even small gestures are enough to reduce stress and lift your spirits a little bit. There are many ways to help others, for example:

-Donating money or possessions: When you donate, you are not only helping those in need but also reminding yourself of what you have to be grateful for.

-Volunteering: Donating your time to a cause that you feel passionate about can help you feel a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Making the world a better place in some way, however small, helps you to feel a sense of connection and belonging, a basic human need. 

-Being a shoulder to cry on: Showing empathy not only helps that person feel understood, it also helps you to better understand yourself. If your mom/friend/son/husband, etc. was suffering, you would be kind and supportive. But when it comes to you, do you treat yourself with the same compassion you show others?

Somehow, it’s easier to be extra hard on yourself and hold yourself to standards you would never hold others. But you deserve understanding and forgiveness too!

Try not to be so harsh with yourself and treat yourself more tenderly, understanding that you’re only human and that imperfection is an unavoidable part of that.

You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to feel sad. And you are worthy of love.

One way to show yourself love and compassion is to practice self-care. Don't know where to start? Check out these self-care ideas.

Ask for help/self-help plan

Some people have family or friends or a therapist that they can reach out to when times get tough. Or they belong to a religious group and can turn to prayer, the Bible (or other religious text), or fellow church members for support.

But, if you don’t, or if you’d rather speak confidentially when you’re in a bad place, you could call an anonymous help line and talk to a stranger. Sometimes it helps to get things off your chest and hear a different perspective.

I’ve done this a few times by calling 988 (suicide and crisis lifeline) and the friendly folks over there have helped me when I was really struggling. They provide 24/7 support to anyone in a crisis situation.

The phone call or chat can also serve as the initial “snowball” that calms you down enough to do something else that makes you feel better, and then something else that makes you feel better, etc.

For example, maybe make yourself a cup of tea before you make the call and do some yoga after you hang up. After yoga, take a mindful shower where you visualize all your problems rinsing off of you and going down the drain. Then, enjoy some aromatherapy and curl up with a book.

One of the best strategies the crisis counselors suggested is creating a crisis plan. Much like a self-care plan, having pre-planned activities in place will help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed in the moment and not able to think clearly.

Simply follow the plan you prepared for yourself, knowing that those things will help you. It can change over time as you see what works for you and what can be improved. Your crisis plan can include:

-Triggers
-Warning Signs (emotions, thoughts, behaviors)
-Coping Strategies: ways to distract yourself, wellness tools/self-care activities, resources/sources of support
-Effectiveness/what to change for future

Here is a Crisis Plan Worksheet I created; this one is already filled out as an example, but blank ones are also available for you to download in my Ko-fi shop for FREE or whatever you want to pay. 

Take Care of Yourself

Eat healthy, exercise, take breaks, pursue joy, be true to yourself, and manage stress in healthy ways. 

What are you struggling with right now? Let me know in the comments. 

 Share this & help someone else!

Share this & help someone else!

Do you …

-Feel guilty for saying no?
-Allow people to disrespect you?
-Put others first, even at your own expense?
-Get overwhelmed easily?

If so, you need to set some personal boundaries!

Setting boundaries makes it possible to have healthy relationships and maintain your  individuality.

In this post, we’ll discuss how to set healthy personal boundaries –an essential part of any self-care plan.

Download your Boundary- Setting Worksheets PDF

Includes:
-Boundaries Self-Assessment
-Healthy vs. Unhealthy Boundaries Checklist
-Setting Boundaries in Relationships
-Types of Boundaries
-Set Boundaries Worksheets
-Boundary-Setting Examples
-Boundary Setting Affirmations
-Commitment to Myself

What are Boundaries?

Boundaries are borders or limits that you don’t want someone else to cross.

When you set healthy personal boundaries, you are letting others know what’s unacceptable for you. You are taking responsibility for yourself by letting others know how you want to be treated and what you will not tolerate.

Your boundaries are meant to protect and safeguard your well-being, like a security system is meant to protect a home and safeguard everything inside.

You decide what your boundaries are, and others have to either respect them or keep it moving. By setting boundaries, you are taking responsibility for yourself, not the actions of others.

It’s your personal space -what do you want to allow in? What do you want to keep out?

Before defining your boundaries, it may be helpful to first think about what types of boundaries you need to set in your life.

Different Types of Boundaries in Relationships

In what areas of your life do you need to set boundaries? You may find that certain relationships are lacking boundaries, such as your:

-romantic relationships
-relationship with your parents/family members
-friendships
-relationship with in-laws
-boss/co-worker relationships

There are various types of boundaries you can set but here are some main categories:

Physical Boundaries

These refer to your personal space and unwanted touch or closeness. You have the right to your personal space, privacy, and the right to refuse to be touched on any part of your body at any time, by anyone.

Emotional Boundaries

You have the right to feel your feelings. Other people do not have the right to impose their opinions on you or make you feel bad for not sharing their emotions. You may also want to set boundaries around what you are willing to hear or be exposed to (for example, emotional dumping or other toxic behavior)

Time Boundaries

Time is your most valuable possession, and you must protect it. Consistently overextending yourself can lead to mental health issues including stress, fatigue, and burnout. Setting time boundaries (saying no!) will help prevent burnout and ensure that you make time for self-care. When someone asks you to make a commitment, think about whether you truly want to do it. If they’re pressuring you and you feel like you can’t say no in the moment, ask for time to think about it.

Material Boundaries

This involves your material possessions, including money. You decide whether you want to give or lend your things. This could also include boundaries you set with yourself to eliminate your debt or setting spending limits.

Why are Healthy Personal Boundaries So Important?

Setting boundaries is a form of self-care. Healthy boundaries help you to protect yourself and maintain healthy relationships. 

Not setting healthy personal boundaries leaves you prone to physical and mental ailments by allowing things you don’t want into your life.  

Boundaries serve many purposes, including:

-staying true to yourself/maintaining individuality
-getting the respect that you deserve
-making your needs known
-letting people know your expectations & avoiding misunderstandings
-living a healthy life|
-preventing resentment and regret
-keeping stress levels low
-clearing negative energies from your surroundings
-creating consistency/stability
-establishing your identity
-staying safe/protecting yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)
-taking back/maintaining control of your life

Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries

Unhealthy boundaries = disrespect.

When you tolerate disrespect, you are sending a message to the other person that you are willing to accept mistreatment. Even worse, you are sending a message to yourself that you are not worthy of being treated well.

To the contrary, when you set healthy boundaries, you are letting everyone know (including yourself) what you are, and are not, willing to tolerate.

You have the right to protect your time, your energy, and your needs as a living being. You have the right to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities.

And you deserve to be treated with respect or left alone. When you set boundaries, you give others the opportunity to either agree with your terms or bug off.

Examples of healthy boundaries:

-saying no
-communicating your needs
-respecting others’ needs
-valuing your own opinions
-making time for self-care
-trusting your decisions

Examples of unhealthy boundaries:

-always saying yes and overextending yourself
-not respecting when someone else says no
-tolerating disrespect
-allowing someone to dictate your life choices
-not prioritizing your well-being
-giving up your interests/substituting your decisions for someone else’s

Why is Setting Boundaries So Hard?

If it’s hard for you to set boundaries, look to your underlying core values. For example, if one of your top core values is dependability, you may have trouble saying no, even if it’s not in your best interest because you want to be a dependable person.

*If you are interested in getting to know yourself and your core values, check out these self-discovery worksheets.

The truth is, you can be a dependable person and set boundaries. In fact, setting boundaries makes you even more dependable because you let others know up front exactly what you expect from them.

Setting boundaries is not selfish. Self-care is not selfish.

Taking care of yourself is an act of love not only for you but for all those you come in contact with during your life.

Only by practicing self-care (including setting boundaries) can you feel and perform your best.

You at your best is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your loved ones -- and the world at large.

Reasons for Not Setting Boundaries

Lack of Experience

Setting boundaries is a learned skill.

So, if you’ve never set boundaries before, it may seem scary.

Start small – for example, try saying no to an offer when you feel like you already have too much on your plate.

Don’t overexplain, you don’t need to justify yourself. Just say something like “I’d love to, but I can’t right now” or “It’s hard for me to say no but I have to this time.”

Low Self-Esteem

If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may need to work on your confidence before you’re able to effectively set all the boundaries you need.

But it’s helpful to understand that the two are interconnected -- once you begin to set healthy boundaries, your self-esteem will rise.

And then you will have the confidence to set more boundaries, which will again have a positive impact on your self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and self-love.

So, take that first leap of setting a personal boundary and enjoy the cascading benefits!

Fear

Fear of rejection, abandonment, conflict/confrontation, hurting someone’s feelings, being perceived as mean, controlling, selfish, etc. are all misguided reasons for not setting boundaries.

Those fears pale in comparison to living a life that’s not your own.

It’s ok if they get angry, it’s ok if they think you’re selfish – you are not responsible for other people’s feelings or behavior, only your own.

Remember that inaction is an action too. By not setting healthy boundaries, you are making a choice to constantly be at the mercy of others. 

Lack of Self-Awareness

If you don’t know what your core values are, what you want out of your relationships, and how you want to be treated, then how can you set boundaries?

As you progress along your personal development journey, your self-awareness will deepen, and you will gain a better understanding of your needs.

As you evolve, you will be progressively better equipped to set boundaries that suit YOU.

No matter who you are or what you stand for, some will love you and some won’t … but those who wish to be around you must respect you.

Empathy

Highly sensitive people and empaths in particular may also struggle with setting healthy boundaries since they are so often willing to sacrifice their own well-being for the sake of others.

That’s why it’s especially important for these highly sensitive individuals to protect their emotional and energetic resources.

Trauma

If you grew up with mentally unstable, controlling, abusive, or otherwise toxic parents/caregivers, you may also feel guilty when setting boundaries.

Having your boundaries consistently violated as a child makes it harder to set boundaries as an adult.

Those who grew up in an enmeshed family may also feel guilty for putting themselves first.

Forbidden from developing their own identity and forced to meet the needs of their parent instead of their own, enmeshed children become codependent and unable to set healthy personal boundaries.

Enmeshment trauma often manifests in the form of:

-lack of confidence
-difficulty making decisions
-feeling responsible for others’ feelings
-fear of conflict
-toxic relationships
-low self-esteem

Limiting Beliefs

Society teaches us (especially women) that we must always be agreeable and self-sacrificing. When your self-worth is tied up with pleasing other people, you may feel guilty or selfish when standing up for yourself.

This limiting belief system based on people-pleasing must be unlearned and replaced with one that based on the truth – that you matter.

In fact, you should come first.

You may face other limiting beliefs when it comes to setting healthy personal boundaries.  Here are some myth-busting truths to help you overcome them:

-self-care is not selfish
-saying no does not make you a bad person
-keeping the peace is not worth your inner peace
-loving someone does not mean doing everything they want
-setting boundaries does not make you a difficult, demanding, or rude person
-boundaries are not permanent; you are free to change them as you continue along your personal development journey
-setting healthy boundaries is not about controlling the behavior of others, but rather controlling what you accept into your life

When to Set Boundaries

It’s usually easier to set boundaries in the beginning before any expectations or patterns of behavior have been established.

When you don’t set a boundary early on, when it’s “something small”, it invites the person to continue overstepping your boundaries.

And the more they push, the more trapped you feel by your first decision to remain silent and pretend like their behavior is ok with you.

But the truth is it’s never too late to set boundaries. Even if you haven’t set boundaries in an existing relationship, you still have every right to at any point.

If they get angry, let them go! They’re just upset that they no longer have control over you for their own selfish purposes.

People who truly care about you will respect your boundaries. Toxic people who want to manipulate, abuse, or take advantage of you will not.

Those who love you will encourage your personal and spiritual growth. They will allow you the space to take care of yourself in the way you need.

Toxic people will stifle your growth and seek to control you with their selfish desires and opinions.

“They know your worth. They just hope you don’t.”

So, don’t feel guilty. Remember, you’re not saying the other person has to comply; you are simply telling them what you need. They decide whether they want to live with the boundary you’ve set or not. 

How to Set Boundaries

Once you've defined your boundaries, it’s time to communicate them.

Keep it simple. Be clear and specific. Do not overexplain or justify.

Simply state your boundary and set forth consequences for crossing it. You could even plan what you are going to say ahead of time. For example, “If you continue to talk to me disrespectfully, I’m going to leave.”

Focus on YOUR needs and what YOU will do, not what the other person is doing. So, for example, instead of saying, “Don’t email me during work hours”, say “I’ve decided to respond to all emails after work, so I’ll get back to you then.”

If you are not used to setting boundaries, it may be uncomfortable at first. Do it anyway. It will get easier, and the more you practice, the more confident you will become.

If they cross the boundary, enact the consequence. This is really important.

If, for example, if you said you would leave if they continued to talk to you disrespectfully, then be prepared to do so. If you don’t, the other person will know they can continue to violate your boundaries without reproach.

Of course, that’s not to say that your boundaries can’t be flexible. Again, as you change and grow, so will your boundaries.

***If you are in an abusive situation or dealing with someone who has a psychological problem, it may not be safe for you to try and set boundaries with them alone. Please seek help if you are in danger.

Respecting Others’ Boundaries

Boundary setting is not only about you; it’s also about other people. You don’t have to agree with other people’s boundaries, but you have to respect them. We all have the right to autonomy over our own lives.

People can make decisions without your advice or interference. If you do offer unsolicited advice, don’t expect the other person to take it. They will ultimately decide what’s best for them and their life.

You can also respect someone’s boundaries accepting only what they share freely. Snooping, prying, and asking too many questions are all nosy behaviors that can make people feel uncomfortable.

You may not always be aware that you’ve disrespected someone else’s boundary. When someone informs you that you’ve crossed the line, listen carefully to what they’re telling you (including body language) and do not interrupt.

Once they’ve finished speaking, ask questions if there is something that you don’t understand. Accept the boundary graciously and remember how you’d like to be treated when you set your own boundaries. If you’re not ok with the boundary, be prepared to walk away.

Stay Committed to Communicating and Enforcing Your Boundaries

I hope this has helped inspire you to set healthy personal boundaries. Be sure to check out the Boundary-Setting Worksheets I created to go along with this post (available in the SelfCareby3DSuccess Etsy Shop).

What types of boundaries do you need in your life? Let me know in the comments!  

Create Your Own Self-Care Plan
“Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Do you feel like self-care should be a priority, but you just don’t take time for yourself (or not enough time for yourself)?

If so, you need a self-care plan!

The best way to ensure that you practice self-care regularly is to have a plan.

A self-care plan is a preventative tool that will help you cope with life’s inevitable adversities.

Because you’re not exactly in the best position to be making calm, rational decisions once you’re already in the middle of a crisis. And self-care can easily fall by the wayside when life gets chaotic.

Having a plan in place ahead of time will help you to be resilient and maintain control over your health during stressful times.

Self-Care Worksheets- Printable 28-page PDF
Checklist, Assessment, Ideas & more

Self-Care is Crucial for Your Health

Self-care is crucial for all aspects of your health: physical, mental, and spiritual. That’s why it’s good to take a holistic approach when creating your self-care plan – one that will take all these aspects into account.

The relationship you have with yourself must be protected and nurtured --when you make self-care a habit, your body, mind, and soul will thank you!

You are the only person that will be with you for your entire life. And you know yourself better than anyone else.

So, it’s really up to you to decide what types of self-care will help you in what situations and what changes need to be made in order to ensure that you get the self-care that you need.

For example, if you are an introvert, HSP, and/or empath, you have to be especially protective of your mental health and make sure you don’t get drained from others’ energies, traumas, etc.

Why is it So Hard to Practice Self-Care?

We all know that self-care is important … so then, why is it so hard to practice?!

I can think of at least three reasons:

1. False Assumptions About Self-Care

Many people feel guilty about taking time for themselves and may even believe that self-care is selfish (which couldn’t be further from the truth!) False assumptions/beliefs about self-care also include:

-self-care is expensive
-it takes too much time
-self-care must be earned
-it’s only for women
-self-care is basically just pampering

Debunking these self-care myths is key to overcoming the self-care hurdle. The truth is:

-the best things in life are free and so are many types of self-care
-taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be time consuming – in fact, some forms of self-care only take a few minutes, and some don’t require any extra time at all!
-self-care is an inherent need we all have as human beings, not a reward to be earned
-self-care knows no gender, color, ethnicity, age, etc. – again, it is an inherent need we all have as human beings
-those who consistently practice self-care are more productive, less stressed, more confident, and more resilient

2. Lack of Self-Care Examples

Another reason why self-care is so hard to practice is that it can be confusing to understand what self-care actually is. Self-care is not just bubble baths and a skin care routine --- it also encompasses other things you do to enhance your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being.

Some examples of self-care ideas include:

-drinking enough water, eating healthy
-social media detox
-meditation/breathing exercises
-yoga/exercise
-limiting interaction with negative people
-spending time in nature
-taking an aromatherapy bath
-taking time for your hobbies
-expressing gratitude
-sleeping
-volunteering/fulfilling your purpose
-self-compassion
-setting boundaries/ saying “no”

*Here’s a list of 33 self-care ideas for physical self-care, mental self-care, and spiritual self-care.

3.Bad Habits/Lack of Good Habits

The third reason it’s so hard to practice self-care is bad habits -- or lack of good ones.

Throughout our journey, we develop coping mechanisms to deal with stress, loss, sorrow, anger, abandonment, betrayal, and all of life’s trials and tribulations.

But some of these coping mechanisms are not healthy. So, the first step to establishing a self-care routine is often replacing hurtful habits with healing habits.

For example, instead of drinking alcohol to relax, drink herbal tea. Cut out negative self-talk and repeat positive affirmations instead. When you’re angry, don’t react immediately– breathe, do yoga, and give yourself time to calm down.

As with establishing any new habit, the more consistent you are in your practice, the more “second nature” it will become.

That’s why you need a self-care plan that you will stick to through thick and thin.

Things That Can Interfere with Your Self-Care 
(but don’t let them!)

It’s essential to have self-care habits in place so you’ll be ready for whatever life throws at you.

How will you deal with an unexpected stressful event? Do you have measures in place to help you stay on track with your self-care?

You cannot afford to neglect yourself during difficult or busy times; in fact, it's during these times that self-care is the most important!

Some major life events that can interfere with your self-care routine include:

1. Getting Married/Planning a Wedding

Getting married is one of life’s most momentous, transformative occasions. 

Major life events like this, although happy and exciting, can also be stressful.

A 2020 study found that 72% of soon-to-be newlyweds use the terms “very” and “extremely” to describe wedding planning stress.

Certainly, there are many stressors associated with planning a wedding … just to name a few:

-Having a safe event in light of COVID-19
-Trying to stay within a budget
-Managing RSVP’s
-Choosing a menu
-Whittling down the guest list
-Coming up with contingency plans (what if it rains?!)
-Dealing with family members
-Organizing vendors
-Having to postpone

During this time, it is important to recognize what is in and what is out of your control.

And it is also important to remember that this is supposed to be a joyous time. So, pamper yourself in the time leading up to the big day!

Self-care for the bride-to-be is crucial – make time to just relax and be mindful. You deserve a slot on that busy schedule of yours.

Having a self-care plan that you stick to in the midst of all the wedding planning will help you to keep calm, stay healthy, and mindfully enjoy the process.

For those of you looking for the perfect stress relief gift for the bride-to-be, check out our spa box on Etsy:

Bride to Be Stress Relief Gift, Self-Care by 3D Success on Etsy

2. Coping with Loss/Grief

Those who are grieving the loss of a loved one often forget to take care of themselves.

Although everyone experiences and deals with loss differently, grief can disrupt major components of physical and mental health - sleep, appetite, hygiene, energy levels, etc.

And for some, the emotional toll of any type of loss (loss of a loved one, a job, a beloved pet, a relationship, a medical diagnosis) can become all-consuming.

While it’s natural to take the time you need to grieve in a way that’s healing for you, you must also be sure to continue practicing self-care during any time of loss or crisis.

These are the times when having a self-care plan (that you'll stick to!) will really benefit you. You won’t have to think about what to do when you’re in distress – you will already have a plan in place, an established routine that works for you. 

Coping with losing a loved one is never easy and it can be difficult to know how to support a friend/family member during this time.

If you’d like to express your condolences while encouraging them to practice self-care, consider these care packages or our sorry for your loss gift set on Etsy:

Sympathy Care Package, Self-Care by 3D Success on Etsy

3. Having a Baby

Many new moms let their self-care fall by the wayside after they give birth.

It seems impossible to find time for self-care with all the responsibilities that come with a new baby.

Some new mothers may even struggle with guilt when they attempt to take time for themselves.

However, this is where a self-care plan comes in handy!

During the postpartum period, it is especially critical to:

-support your body as it recovers and rebuilds, and
-support your mind as it adjusts and refocuses.

Keep in mind the old adage, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” In order to take care of others, you must take care of yourself. And doing so allows you to be better at everything else you do.

Don’t wait until your cup is empty to practice self-care – make sure it stays filled.

Stick to your self-care plan!

Obviously, changes can be made to an existing self-care plan for many reasons including having a baby. The important thing is to regularly engage in the self-care habits that help you to stay happy and healthy.

Know a new mama who needs some pampering? Try our organic essential oil-based relaxation kit on Etsy:

Take Some Time for Yourself Care Package, Self-Care by 3D Success on Etsy

Creating Your Self-Care Plan

Now, it’s time to create your very own self-care plan!

This personalized plan will help you to maintain your overall health & well-being on an everyday basis as well as during high-stress situations.

So, if you’re committed to making self-care a priority, let’s get started.

Determine Your Current Stress Level

This can be a real eye-opener.

Often, we don’t even realize how stressed we really are or what is actually causing the stress.

So, the first step in creating a self-care plan is to assess your current stress level and identify your major stressors.

Once you’ve identified your stressors, you can determine how to lessen or eliminate them.

*There is a Stress Assessment and Quiz in the Freebie Library to help you with this.

Stress and anxiety manifests differently for everyone, but common warning signs of overwhelm/too much stress include:

-insomnia
-irritability
-fatigue
-isolating yourself
-feeling overwhelmed
-indecisiveness
-weakened immune system
-eye twitches
-labored breathing
-tight/sore muscles
-headaches
-lack of concentration
-low libido
-upset stomach
-memory problems
-mood swings
-angry outbursts

And stressors often have to do with:

-health
-finances
-relationships
-work
-housing/moving
-school
-traumatic events
-safety/security
-overextending ourselves
-mental health issues

How Do You Currently Deal with Those Stressors?

Now that you’ve identified your stressors, it’s time to reflect on how you are currently dealing with them.

Are you coping in a healthy way? Or do your coping mechanisms actually make things worse?

Examples of unhealthy coping mechanisms include:

-smoking cigarettes
-drinking alcohol/drug abuse
-sleeping too much
-overspending
-avoidance
-catastrophizing
-ruminating
-over/under eating
-overworking
-not prioritizing things that matter the most

And examples of healthy coping mechanisms include:

-exercising (releases endorphins and serotonin, natural stress-relievers)
-meditating
-practicing yoga
-breathing exercises
-aromatherapy with essential oils
-affirmations
-journaling
-expressing gratitude (Gratitude worksheets available in the Freebie Library)
-creating/hobbies
-doing a brain dump (Brain Dump worksheets available in the Freebie Library)
-setting boundaries/saying no
-social media detox
-spending time in nature
-treating yourself to a luxury spa box

Connect Those Stressors to the Self-Care Activities that Help You

First, consider if there are any stressors that you can:

-eliminate
-avoid or limit your exposure to, and/or
-reframe your mindset regarding

For example: toxic relationships, clutter, negative thoughts, complaining, unreasonable expectations, unhealthy diet, sedentary lifestyle, multitasking, procrastinating, etc.

Remaining unavoidable stressors must be connected to healthy coping mechanisms.

Notice what forms of self-care help you to remain calm during stressful situations. 

For example, you may find that it helps to mindfully color while drinking tea when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Or that it helps to do yoga when you’re angry. Or that you feel happier and more energized when you eat plenty of fruits and veggies. 

Whatever self-care activities work for you, make note of them.

Be Specific & Write it Down

Which brings us to the last tip I’d like to give you for creating your self-care plan...

As with any goal, your chances of success increase if you are specific and you write it down.

When you’re feeling stressed out, what will you do? What will you avoid?

Give yourself a visible reminder of your commitment to making self-care a priority. This could be in the form of your self-care plan, a quote, anything that reminds you to take care of yourself.

When practicing self-care, note what works in certain situations and what doesn’t. It may help to think of it in terms of stressors and their self-care antidotes.

For example, the Stressor might be an upcoming exam and the self-care antidote is a candlelit bath.

The Stressor might be an overpacked schedule and the self-care antidote is cancelling plans and enjoying a cozy night of TV at home by yourself.

Or the stressor might be that you’re feeling overwhelmed, and the self-care activities/antidotes are doing a brain dump and decluttering your physical environment.  

Keep track of your progress and make note of any changes you want to make. If one type of self-care activity didn’t work as well as another, that’s something to pay attention to!

Review your progress periodically to make sure your needs are being met and make any necessary adjustments to your self-care plan along the way.

Self-Care Plan Worksheets

Don't forget to download these self-care worksheets I made to help you create your self-care plan! You can get them in my Etsy shop -- available in printer-friendly black and white. 

Stress Tracker, Stressors & Self-Care Activities Diary

Self-Care Tracker, Monthly Goals

Healthy & Unhealthy Self-Care Habits,
Warning Signs of Too Much Stress

Self-Care Reminders – Quotes & Positive Affirmations,
Things I Am Grateful For

I hope this post helped you to create your own self-care plan. I wish you all the best in creating it and sticking to it!

Please share in the comments … what’s your “go-to” self-care activity?

Share this & help someone else!

*Related post: How to Create a Personal Development Plan (ultimate guide with examples of personal development goals)

Dealing with Losing a Loved One

Hello again, my friends!!! It has been waaaaay too long.

I hope you are all doing well and enjoying your summer... anyone else super excited for fall though?!

When we launched Self Care by 3D Success last year, I did not expect it to take off the way it did. So, I’m sorry there hasn’t been a new blog post for a while; I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had much time for anything else other than keeping up with the Etsy shop!

We also just finished our move to Colorado Springs, where we’ll thankfully have a lot more space for the business.  I feel so blessed to be an entrepreneur and to be able to work from home, especially during this difficult time given the pandemic. 

Sadly, one of our bestselling spa boxes has been the Sorry for Your Loss gift set/ Grieving Friend gift  (below). It's a unique alternative to flowers/food and encourages the recipient to take time for themselves as self-care is so important, especially during the grieving process.

Since all of our gift sets come with a personal note, I saw just how many people were losing loved ones to Covid. Some people even reached out to me with their stories, which were heartbreaking. 

I don’t personally know anyone who died from Covid, so running the Etsy shop actually gave me unique insight into the wide-sweeping effects of this deadly virus on the U.S.

And while our self-care items provide a comforting escape from life’s hardships, there must also be holistic healing on a deeper level, especially for us HSPs. So, I am hoping that this post will help those who are dealing with the grief of losing a loved one.

Everyone Grieves Differently After Losing a Loved One

Some people release their emotions immediately while others may be numb for a while or unable to express their feelings. Remember that everyone grieves differently - allow yourself the space and grace to grieve in the way you need to.

However, stay away from drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. It might work in the short term but can quickly become an unhealthy crutch that not only jeopardizes your health but also stands in the way of true healing.

Grieving is a Process

Time heals all wounds – to a degree.

Although right now you may feel as if you are going to implode from the overwhelming sadness, remember that it won’t last forever. The intensity of the grief will subside over time.

Some people find that the feeling of loss never goes away; it ebbs and flows depending on your mood, surroundings, and other factors. You might be doing ok one minute and then all of a sudden something triggers you, sending you into a grief spiral.

This is normal.

Allow yourself to feel the full range of emotions that can manifest when we lose someone we love. Going through your grieving process is how you will be able to heal and move forward.

Recognize the Stages of Grief

One of the most well-known books about coping with loss is “On Death and Dying” by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. The author of this seminal work outlines the five stages of her grief model, also known as DABDA.

It is important to note that not everyone experiences all -or any- of these stages, and certainly not everyone goes through them in this order.

However, recognizing the stages and knowing that you are not alone in experiencing them can help with the grieving process after death. So, here they are:

• Denial- Initially, it can be difficult to accept that the person actually died and is not here anymore. You may find yourself in a state of shock in which you simply cannot process what has occurred. 
• Anger- Once reality sets in, you may feel gypped. “Why me?” is a common sentiment at this stage. You may even question your faith (how could God do this to me, why did this have to happen?)
• Bargaining- At this stage, you enter into negotiations with the universe, clinging to irrational hope in a desperate final attempt to get your loved one back. (“Take my life instead!”)
• Depression- When the reality and finality of the loss finally settles in, you may feel deeply sad, hopeless, or even numb. This stage is again, different for everyone, but may be characterized by fatigue, loss of interest in things you used to find fun or interesting, and maybe even wanting to die or having suicidal thoughts.
• Acceptance- During this stage, you accept that your loved one is gone and there is nothing you can do to bring them back. The sadness remains, but a new perspective emerges – one that allows you to realize that even though they are gone forever, you are going to be ok.

Breathe Deeply

If you feel tightness in your chest and your stomach is in knots, some breathing exercises are in order.

Deep breathing is one of the easiest and fastest ways to soothe stress and anxiety after the loss of a loved one or any traumatic experience.

When we are sad, angry, or nervous, we tend to take small, shallow breaths. This triggers sympathetic nervous system responses such as heightened anxiety and panic attacks, which obviously only makes things worse.

Breathing deeply, on the other hand, engages the parasympathetic nervous system, which slows the heart rate, eases muscle tension, and releases hormones that relax the mind and body.

This article has some great instructions on how to perform 5 different deep breathing techniques. Also, here is a helpful YouTube video - Deep Breathing Exercises for Beginners:

*Start slow – even five minutes a day can have a profound, lasting impact on your health.

Deep breathing goes hand in hand with mindfulness and can be especially effective when performed in conjunction with meditation and/or yoga.

Embrace Personal Growth 

Through this hardship, your resilience will strengthen, making you better able to cope with all of life’s trials and tribulations.

We humans are made to be resilient and adaptive in order to survive. Lean on your inner strength. Losing a loved one is never easy, but you are strong enough to endure.

Expressing gratitude is one of the best things you can do to reframe negative experiences and avoid ruminating about past traumas.

So, focus on the positive. Instead of replaying the moment you received the bad news or wallowing in guilt over things you should have said or could have done, remember all the good times you had with your loved one.

Find a deeper meaning in the loss. Did your loved one teach you a valuable lesson or help you to see things from a different perspective? Implementing that wisdom in your life moving forward is a great way to honor their memory.

Learn from Your Past

In our short lives, we experience loss many times in various forms – we’ve all had to deal with losing a pet, a family member, friends, jobs, homes, etc.  

Remember all the losses you suffered before this one and realize that you are still here. You made it through before and you will make it through again.

• How did you cope with your prior losses?
• Were there any coping mechanisms that could be helpful in this situation?
• What is the best way to grieve a loss for you?

Was there anything you learned from those experiences that you could do differently this time to help you in coping with grief and loss this time?

This article contains some really helpful exercises designed to help you or your grieving friend cope with losing a loved one.

Lean on Your Support System after the Loss of a Loved One

It may help to talk about it with loved ones or even be a shoulder to lean on for someone else who is coping with loss as well.

Don’t ignore or stifle your feelings- this can lead to bigger problems down the road both psychologically and physically. Your family and friends want to be there for you. This is the time when you really need them and that’s what they are there for, so let them help.

This is also a good time to lean on your faith. You may find comfort in God, Jesus, Buddhist philosophies, spiritual beliefs, meditation, yoga, or any other “higher power” you believe in.

If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to someone, consider writing in a private journal. Journaling is a powerful tool for working through many problems, from depression and anxiety to reaching goals.

It can help us to face our true feelings and to engage in self-analysis. Sort of like a brain dump, writing in a journal helps to get it all out of your mind and onto paper – which can be very cathartic, especially after losing a loved one. Studies even show that journaling can strengthen the immune system, lower blood pressure, and help with insomnia.

If you are really struggling or you have been struggling with the grief for a prolonged period of time, it may be best to seek grief counseling. A professional can help you with accepting and coming to terms with the loss, working through the grief, and adjusting to life without your loved one while still maintaining a connection with them.

Spend Some Time in Nature

Studies show that just 20 minutes outside is enough to reduce stress levels. Simply being in nature helps us to feel connected, grounded, and at peace.

But if you feel restless and find that you have a lot of nervous energy, walking, gardening, or any form of outside exercise are optimal outlets.

Take Care of Yourself

During this time of loss, it may be difficult to eat, sleep, exercise, and go about your normal routine.

Make an extra effort to look after yourself and set aside some time to take care of yourself – your body and mind need it! To make sure you get in your self care, it might be a good idea to schedule a routine for yourself, like a Self Care Sunday.

Everyone’s idea of self-care is a little different, but it can involve things like taking a relaxing candlelit bath, essential oil aromatherapy, and meditation. Looking for more ideas? Here’s a list of 33 self care ideas for stress relief.

*Be especially vigilant around the holidays and meaningful dates such as anniversaries.

Sorry for Your Loss Messages to Help Someone Cope with Losing a Loved One

It can be challenging to know how to express your condolences to a grieving friend or family member. My Self Care by 3D Success customers have provided hundreds of excellent examples of words to comfort someone who lost a loved one:

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Sharing in your sorrow and keeping you in our prayers.
• A life need not be long-lived for it to have been meaningful.
• Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone. 
• We are thinking of you every day and sending lots of love your way.
• A beautiful soul is never forgotten.
• We are holding you close in our hearts across the miles. Sending all our love.
• I am so sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing. Thinking of you and sending comfort.
• May the peace that comes from your memories with your dad comfort you in the days ahead.
• “Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in times of sorrow.” -Robert Louis Stevenson
• We are thinking of you. Please remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time.
• Marley was the best dog ever and I know you are missing him terribly. He’ll always hold a special place in my heart. I’m here if you want to talk.
• Wishing you peace and tranquility. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
• Our thoughts are with you and your family as you mourn the loss of your sister.
• Sending our love with deepest condolences for your loss.
• I’m so sorry you have to go through this – just know you are not alone.
• Our hearts are heavy after the loss of Pete. He will never be forgotten.
• May you be surrounded by loving memories of your special mother always.
• Wrapping you in love and hugs as you go through this difficult season of loss.
• Thinking of you and Anne on the anniversary of her passing. Remember, she is always with you, as are we.
• Sending healing vibes and strength your way for the days to come.
• We are broken-hearted over the loss of your brother. Praying for you and your family.
• Sending our love, support & prayers for strength, patience, and healing.
• “When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.” – C.S. Lewis
• Thanks for including us in such a beautiful ceremony. It was obvious how much the kids adored George. Please know we are always here for you and would love to have you join us for dinner anytime.
• Praying for you every day and sending you all the positive vibes. No matter what happens in life, I will always be here.
• Your mom was such a warm, caring, wonderful woman and she has an amazing daughter. Love you and hope you are doing okay.
• You are strong but God is stronger. He will get you through this.
• You now have a beautiful guardian angel looking out for you every day.
• Life is tough, but so are you. Hang in there and take care of yourself during this process.
• Hoping you can find some time for yourself to rest, relax, grieve, and do whatever your soul needs.
• I’m so sorry to hear about Dylan. Please know that I am only a text or phone call away, anytime, day or night.
• Remember in all the chaos to take a moment to simply breathe.
• It’s ok to not be ok right now. Just know I’m here for you.
• Edgar was such a beautiful human being, and we are so lucky to have known him.
• Sending you energy, thoughts, and meditations. My ears are here for listening.
• Sending hugs and so much love to you and Nate.
• Praying for peace and healing after your loss. I’m always here to talk.
• Papa lived a long and incredible life. May his memory be a blessing and his legacy everlasting.
• We are here. You are loved.
• The ones we love are never gone; they live within our hearts.
• In loving memory of your daughter, gone yet not forgotten.
• Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
• Your son was a blessing, his memory a treasure. He is still loved beyond words and missed beyond measure.
• “Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” – Vicki Harrison
• Those we love don’t go away, They walk beside us every day, Unseen, unheard, but always near, Still loved, still missed and very dear.
• Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate Jeff’s life.
• I can imagine that all the angels in heaven sang a song of love as Jesus welcomed your sweet mom into heaven.
• The loss is immeasurable, but so is the love that is left behind.

Over to you ... any tips on how to help a grieving friend cope with losing a loved one? Leave a comment!

Share this & help someone else!

Hey, guys! Just wanted to let you know that next week, we’ll be launching Self Care by 3D Success!

If you’re a reader of this blog, you probably know how important self care is, no matter how busy you are.

And while self care encompasses practical disciplines like exercise, eating a healthy diet, and everyday mindfulness, it can also include more “frivolous” activities like taking a bath or enjoying the amber glow of a candle.

That’s where this product line comes in!

The Self Care by 3D Success store will feature self care kits/spa gift boxes that include:

• a moisturizing bath bomb
• a pouch of stress-relieving bath salts
• a hand-poured beeswax and coconut oil candle
• an essential oil-based linen/room spray, and
• an aromatherapy roll-on

The best part about these self care kits is that colors and designs are in the packaging, not the products.

All the self care products I make are SLS, polysorbate-80, petroleum, phthalate & paraben-free, with no preservatives and no artificial colors or fragrances.

(If you read my post on the 12 toxic ingredients lurking in your bath products, you know just how dangerous the term “fragrance” is.)

There will be gift boxes for all occasions – Christmas, birthdays, weddings, even “just because”.

I’m so excited for you to check them out! I am almost done with everything behind the scenes and when I’m done (sometime next week), I will let you know.

In the meantime, here is a curated list of some of the more popular topics on this blog.

Also, don’t forget to sign up for the 3D Success Freebie Library where you will get access to all the freebies ever offered (and all that ever will be offered) on this blog!

Personal Development

How to Create a Personal Development Plan: The Ultimate Guide

Get to Know Yourself: 71 Insightful Questions

How to Forgive Someone (Even When They’re Not Sorry)

50 Inspirational Quotes About Life, Love & Happiness

How to Control Your Emotions: 10 Tips to Keep Calm

Building Confidence

17 Confidence Building Tips to Boost Your Self Esteem

5 Best Motivational TED Talks on Confidence

Change These 10 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back from Success

Why This Type of Confidence is the Key to Success

Reducing Stress & Anxiety

5 Best TED Talks for Anxiety (Inspirational)

Reduce Stress & Build Resilience: 5 Science-Backed Strategies

10 Science-Backed Natural Remedies for Anxiety

How to Declutter Your Overwhelmed Mind with a Brain Dump

10 Best Foods for Anxiety

Reaching Your Goals

How to Motivate Yourself to Chase Your Dreams

12 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in Law School

The Magical Art of Reinvention: How to Create a Life You Love

How to Prioritize Tasks, Get More Done & Still Make Time for Yourself

Self Care

33 Self Care Ideas for Stress Relief

Self Care Sunday Routine for Rejuvenation

10 Undeniable Signs You Need a Social Media Detox

Beeswax vs. Soy vs. Paraffin Candles

23 Self Care Tips for the Introvert/HSP/Empath

I hope you found something useful here. Have a wonderful week!

* This post was originally published on November 25, 2019 and has been updated.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” -Zig Ziglar

Thanksgiving is almost here (yay!), so it’s the perfect time to count our blessings.

No matter our station in life, we have many things to be grateful for.

And research shows that to express gratitude for what we have has many benefits, including overall enhancement of well-being...it's also one of the best self care ideas for stress relief (which we could all use this year!). 

Considering the extensive advantages, you may want to consider instituting a gratitude practice year-round!

But even when we are grateful, it's not always easy to know how to express that gratitude.

That's why I've put together some gratitude journal prompts and activities for you! Maybe you can give them a try with your family this Thanksgiving.

Show someone special that you're grateful for them by sending them a personalized care package this holiday season! 

Express Gratitude: Things to Be Grateful For

There are lots of things to be grateful for.

Sadly, our fast-paced, technology-driven lives can cause us to overlook some of the simpler (yet important) things.

But by focusing on these simple things, we can significantly increase our happiness and well-being.

Regularly expressing gratitude helps keep us to focus on the positive and keep things in perspective when we are overwhelmed and nearing burnout.

It cultivates a mindset that changes our entire outlook on life!

Gratitude Habits

A classic exercise called “three good things” helps us to bring all the things we should be grateful for into focus.  

Here’s how you do it:

Before going to bed, reflect upon your day and write down three good things that happened. Think about why those things happened and express gratitude for them.   

Gratitude journaling is another healthy habit that can have transformative results.

There are many ways to keep a gratitude journal. You could write down things you are grateful for upon waking in the morning or before going to bed at night.

Or you could write down something you are grateful for the moment it happens.

You could name as many small things as you can think of or you could select one (or a few) to express your gratitude for in a more in-depth way.

Or focus on certain topics like your relationships, your health, nature, etc.

Here are some gratitude journal prompts and activities that help me personally.

I hope they help you too! Maybe you can try doing some of them with your family over the Thanksgiving weekend.

Gratitude Journal Prompts

I am grateful for this:

Gratitude Activities

Gratitude Jar

Each day write down one thing you are grateful for on a piece of paper. Fold it and place it into the jar. Open the jar whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed.

Gratitude Rock

Find a rock you like (because of the color, texture, or pattern, or because it’s from a special place, etc.) Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, hold the rock and remember all the things you are grateful for. Take a moment to be mindful and focus on the positive.

Gratitude Walk

Go for a walk outside. Nature has an amazing ability to calm the nerves, lift the spirit, and clear the head. As you walk, look in awe at the natural beauty all around you. Think of the things you are grateful for that you typically take for granted such as the air that fills your lungs, the trees that give you shade, or the legs that allowed you to go on the walk in the first place.

Happy Thanksgiving!
 

 Over to you … what are you grateful for? Leave a comment!

Share this & help someone else!

Head over to the Freebie Library (a regularly updated collection of free downloadable content) to download your Gratitude Prompts and Exercises.

There has generally been a positive shift in the last few years towards things like organic food, physical fitness, and mental health.

But when it comes to personal care products, there hasn’t been the same amount of growth in the right direction.

If you use commercial bath and beauty products including bath bombs, soap, air fresheners, candles, or perfume - take a look at those labels!

The last thing you want when you’re having a nice Self Care Sunday is to be unknowingly inhaling chemicals or spreading toxins all over the largest organ of your body (your skin).  

Here’s a list of 12 commonly used toxic ingredients to avoid in your personal care products:

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission. 

3D Success, LLC. is also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Please read the Disclaimer for more info.

1. Synthetic fragrances

If you like to burn paraffin or soy candles, you might be getting more than the comforting scent and candlelit glow that you bargained for.

Most commercial candles contain synthetic fragrance which can be made up of hundreds, even thousands of chemicals.

What exactly is in that synthetic fragrance? The truth is, we may never know.

Fragrance ingredients are considered “trade secrets” and are therefore protected under the U.S. Fair Packaging and Label Act.

So, manufacturers don’t have to disclose their secret ingredients to us.

No matter how toxic they are.

And these franken-fragrances are not only in candles. They’re also in perfumes, air fresheners, bath bombs, soaps, lotions, and pretty much every type of personal care product.

That's what makes "fragrance" one of the most important things to avoid when it comes to candles, perfumes, lotions, etc.

2. Parabens

Parabens are man-made chemicals often found in makeup, bath products, and hair care products.

They go by many different names. Methylparaben, propylparaben, butylparaben are a few types of parabens to look out for.

This common additive helps extend the shelf life of cosmetic products by stopping the growth of bacteria and mold.

But this convenience comes at a price.

Research shows that parabens disrupt endocrine and hormone function by mimicking estrogen. 

Although the FDA assures us that they are safe when used in small quantities, the truth is that there are some potentially harmful effects such as breast cancer and reproductive/fertility problems.

It’s understandable that companies would want to make their products last longer – that just increases their profit margin.

But why would you want to put these toxic ingredients in your body? There’s no reason why your personal care products need to last forever!

Especially when you can easily get freshly made, small-batch self care products with organic ingredients.

3. Phthalates

Phthalates are industrial chemicals used in personal care products as well as other types of products such as plastic and vinyl to increase their flexibility.

Much like parabens, phthalates interfere with testosterone production and change sex hormone levels.

This toxic personal care product ingredient has been linked to a variety of side effects including obesity, reduced fertility, cancer, neurological disorders, and worsening of allergy and asthma symptoms.

According to Centers for Disease Control (CDC) data, humans are routinely exposed to phthalates through ingestion, inhalation and dermal exposure.

Although we can’t control our exposure to all phthalate-containing ingredients, we can at least control our exposure to some. Make sure your cosmetic, hair, and bath products are paraben and phthalate-free.

4. Petroleum

Petroleum, petrolatum, and petroleum by-products are made from crude oil.

They are odorless, colorless, and have a long shelf life – once again, great for the company but bad for you.

And although petroleum is supposed to be moisturizing, it actually lays on top of the skin and inhibits its ability to breathe, absorb nutrients, and release toxins.

Mineral oil is another byproduct of petroleum often included in personal care products due to its inexpensive cost.

It clogs the skin and does not metabolize – meaning once it gets into your system, it doesn’t leave!

Paraffin is yet another petroleum byproduct created from the sludge waste that is produced when crude oil is refined into gasoline.

Once it has been deodorized and bleached, it is made into wax and used in many commercial candles.

Paraffin candles contain known carcinogens that release toxins similar to diesel fumes when burned.

*Beeswax candles are a healthy, all-natural alternative that emit negative ions and actually help to clean the air.

5. SLS

Sodium laureth sulfate (SLS) and sodium lauryl sulfoacetate (SLSA) are surfectants, meaning that they help soaps, bubble baths, and other bath products to bubble and foam.

If you use commercial bath bombs, you might be releasing a lot more than just fizz into your bath!

SLS is a sudsy skin irritant often found in bath bombs that can cause dry, itchy skin. According to a report published in the Journal of the American College of Toxicology, concentrations of just .5% causes slight to moderate skin irritation.

And concentrations of 10 to 30% causes severe irritation and skin corrosion.

Toxicologists also report that SLS ages the skin by disrupting and possibly destroying protein.

SLS gets absorbed into the skin where it accumulates in deep tissues and the blood stream.

And when SLS reacts with other chemicals found in personal care products, it can create carcinogenic nitrates.

6. Polysorbate 80

Yet another synthetic compound found in bath bombs, soap, shampoo, and skin creams is Polysorbate-80.

It is an emulsifier that helps keeps bath products from separating and helps the oil and water-based ingredients more easily blend together.

Studies suggest a link between polysorbate-80 and infertility, bowel problems, exacerbated Crohn’s disease, increased risk of blood clots, stroke, heart attack, heart failure, tumor growth, and recurrence of certain types of cancer.

7. Formaldehyde

Formaldehyde is a chemical preservative used in personal care products.

Interestingly (and disturbingly) enough, it is also used in embalming fluid - as in, to slow the decomposition of corpses.

I remember the day when my Biology class was doing frog dissections in high school.

I went home early that day because I just couldn’t stomach the smell of the formaldehyde.

And if that isn’t unsettling enough, consider these chilling reports:

• The American Cancer Society reports that formaldehyde has been linked to cancer
• According to the International Agency for Research on Cancer (part of the WHO), formaldehyde is carcinogenic
• The National Toxicology Program lists formaldehyde as a known human carcinogen
• National Cancer Institute reports that formaldehyde can cause leukemia

8. Artificial Colors/Dyes

This is one of the most common additives in toxic personal care products.

Artificial dyes are often made from a combination of synthetic chemicals, from coal tar to heavy metal salts.

Mica, a colorant often used in bath bombs, has been linked to fibrosis in the lungs, chronic coughing and shortness of breath, and possibly even cancer.

It’s true that mica is a naturally occurring mineral dust. But so is asbestos. And talc - both known carcinogens. 

It's worth noting that research shows most of the harmful health effects associated with mica are caused by exposure to large amounts.

However, I’d personally rather steer clear of it altogether.

I think white bath bombs with flower or leaf garnishes are so pretty!

But if you want to add color to your personal care products, there are plenty of natural alternatives.

Beet root powder, butterfly pea powder, turmeric, pink kaolin clay, activated charcoal, and green tea all create beautiful, natural colors.

9. Lead

In this day and age, you wouldn’t think that lead would be included in personal care products.

But, guess what?

Some paraffin candles still have lead-containing wicks.

Especially those that are imported from countries where the safety standards are lower than in the U.S.

Breathing in lead can give rise to several negative health effects including depression, irritability, nausea, memory loss, heart disease, and reduced fertility.

Unfortunately, there isn’t usually an easy way to make sure that the wick in a commercial candle is non-toxic.

But, it’s fun and easy enough to make your own candles once you get the hang of it!

I like to make candles out of beeswax and coconut oil and use hemp wicks dipped in beeswax.

10. Benzene

Benzene is known to cause cancer, according to the American Cancer Society.

And yet it is another one of thousands of toxic chemicals lurking in commercial personal care products.

The CDC reports that benzene causes cells to not work correctly, thus leading to blood-related health issues.

For example, by changing blood levels of antibodies, benzene can cause the loss of white blood cells and damage the immune system.

Benzene is often found in air conditioners, along with formaldehyde.

You can make your own 3-ingredient room/linen spray with just 100% vodka, distilled water, and essential oil.

11. Styrene

Styrene is a derivative of benzene and is another common ingredient found in commercial air fresheners.

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) reports that acute exposure to styrene may result in skin, eye and upper respiratory tract irritation, depression, headache, fatigue, and reduced kidney function.

It is a synthetic polymer found in nail polish, sunscreen, body wash, moisturizer, foundation, and other personal care products.

When it evaporates into the air, it is readily absorbed and taken up into the bloodstream.

Effects of exposure to benzene include nausea, gastrointestinal effects, impaired balance and vision, allergic reactions, headache, fatigue, and depression.

12. BHA, BHT, Ethanol/Ethylene Glycol/Polyethelyne Glycol, DEA, DBP, TEA, Tricolsan, Siloxanes, Toluene, Butylatedhydroxy Anisole/Butylated Hydroxytoluene, EDTA … the list goes on and on

There are more than 3,000 ingredients that could go into a toxic cocktail that gets labeled as “fragrance” (see the International Fragrance Association Transparency List).

And so called “natural” fragrances are often anything but. The term “natural” is not legally defined or regulated the way “organic” and “non-GMO” are.

So, be careful when purchasing personal care products – check the label to make sure there aren’t any potentially unhealthy ingredients lurking inside.

 Head over to the Freebie Library (a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content) to download your Self-Care Worksheets.

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Ah, Sunday.

That bittersweet 24 hours before you have to go back to work.

Well, instead of spending this Sunday wallowing in “Monday dread”, why not try a self care Sunday routine?

Not only will it help you to truly relax and enjoy the last day of your precious weekend, but it will also rejuvenate your mind and body for the week that lies ahead.

Everybody’s self care routine will differ depending on personal preferences, lifestyle, etc. but here are some ideas to hopefully inspire you.

For more self care ideas categorized by mental self care, physical self care, and spiritual self care, check out this post: 33 Self Care Ideas for Stress Relief.

(There is also a quiz you can take to assess your current level of self care as well as some self care worksheets in the Freebie Library.)

* This post contains affiliate links. I am a Bluehost, Thrive Themes, ConvertKit & Tailwind affiliate, meaning that if you click on a qualifying  link and make a purchase, I may earn a commission. 

3D Success, LLC. is also a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com

Please read the Disclaimer for more info.

Head over to the Freebie Library (a regularly updated collection of free downloadable content) to download your free Self-Care Worksheets.

1. Sleep In

Sleep is a vital component of health.

When you are sleeping, your body restores itself by regulating your hormones and repairing your muscles and bones.

Your brain also engages in activities it otherwise is not able to do when you’re awake.

Like consolidating new memories, processing and organizing information and removing toxins that have built up in your brain when you were awake.

If you don’t get enough sleep (7-9 hours a night), there are many negative consequences, such as:

• reduced concentration
• impaired memory
• lowered immune function
• bad mood
• increased risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, depression and obesity

That’s why sleeping in is a critical component of a healthy self care routine. Not just for “Self Care Sunday”, but every day.

So, do yourself a solid and hit the hay a little earlier.

And don’t be on your phone for at least a half an hour before bedtime. The blue light interferes with your circadian rhythms and the production of melatonin, an essential hormone for restful sleep.

2. Put on some comfy clothes

What you wear has an effect on your mental health.

You wouldn’t wear the same thing to work as you would when you’re relaxing at home would you?

I certainly wouldn’t!

Clothes have the power to affect how you feel about yourself and how you feel in general.

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I simply cannot stand uncomfortable, tight, scratchy, pinchy clothes or shoes.

And fortunately, I now have the blessing of working from home so I can wear what I want.

But if you have to dress a certain way for work all week, take full advantage of this self care Sunday and wear loose, comfy clothes all day.

3. Wash your sheets & use linen spray

We should all be washing our sheets at least once every two weeks.

Every hour, our bodies shed approximately 200 million dead skin cells.

Tiny dust mites that are invisible to the naked eye feed on those cells – and then poop.

That fecal matter can cause allergies and make asthma worse – plus, it’s just gross to think about all those germs and bacteria festering in your bed sheets!

So, make washing your sheets a part of your self care Sunday routine. Once you get in the habit of washing your sheets weekly, you may notice that you sleep more peacefully.

For an added bonus, spray your sheets with linen spray.

Just be careful about which kind you use – most commercial brands are filled with synthetic fragrance and other unhealthy additives.

I make a room spray with just organic essential oil, distilled water, and 100-proof vodka. *Try lavender essential oil for relaxation.

4. Drink herbal tea (& lots of water throughout the day)

Herbal tea is made by steeping various parts of plants and flowers.

Like essential oil, herbal tea has loads of natural health benefits.

Teas have been used medicinally for thousands of years and can help with relieving stress, fighting colds, improving digestion, boosting the immune system, reducing inflammation, slowing the aging process, lowering blood pressure, aiding in weight loss, getting rid of headaches, and more!

Some of my favorites include Yogi Kava tea, (paid link) peppermint tea, and chamomile tea.

In addition to drinking some soothing herbal tea, make sure you are staying hydrated throughout the day.

Drink at least eight 8 oz. glasses of water throughout the day – just like sleep, water is important for optimal brain and body function.

5. Light a beeswax candle

Yes, specifically a beeswax candle.

Beeswax candles give off a natural golden glow and do not produce toxic smoke or soot like other types of candles.

Paraffin candles are a petroleum byproduct, created from the sludge waste produced when crude oil is refined into gasoline.

Soy candles are not much better and often contain poisonous dyes and synthetic fragrances. Not to mention that about 94% of U.S. soybean crops are genetically modified.

Beeswax candles, on the other hand, are made from pure and natural beeswax. They are non-toxic, chemical free, and all natural.

They are also hypoallergenic and produce negative ions which help to clean the air.

So, if you suffer from allergies or asthma, this may be the natural remedy you’ve been searching for!

Read this article if you’re interested in learning more about the surprising health benefits of beeswax candles.

Self Care Sunday Routine

6. Do some gratitude exercises

Expressing gratitude improves our lives in so many ways.

It releases dopamine and serotonin in the brain, making us feel happier and more at peace.

It also improves our resilience and ability to cope with stressful situations.

Gratitude helps us to keep things in perspective by acknowledging and appreciating all the things we have to be grateful for.

Unfortunately, our fast-paced lives often get in the way of taking some time to simply reflect on all the wonderful little things that we already have.

On this self care Sunday, take some time to express gratitude for all your blessings in your own way.

You could write in a journal or do some gratitude exercises.

There are some gratitude journal prompts and exercises available for you in the Freebie Library if that’s something you’d like to try.

7. Do some yoga/meditation/stretching

I’ve said it before – yoga has changed my life.

I’m so much calmer and in tune with my body now than I was before I got into the habit of doing yoga.

If you’re just starting out, try doing some beginner poses like cat/cow, downward facing dog, cobra, and legs up the wall pose.

But if yoga is just not your thing, try stretching instead.

And as you do your yoga or stretching exercises, try not to think about anything else. This is a great opportunity to incorporate mindfulness meditation.

When thoughts come into your mind, acknowledge them without judgment and then gently push them away, focusing only on your breath and the current moment.

8. Go for a walk outside/bike ride

Few things are as rejuvenating and awe-inspiring as nature.

Being outside for just 20 minutes a day can have a significant effect on your mood and stress levels.

So, get outside and breathe in the fresh air. Walk amongst the trees. Marvel at the sky.

I recently got a mountain bike and I absolutely love biking through the parks and trails here in Colorado.

As you walk or ride your bike, be sure to breathe. Allow your stomach to expand as you breathe through your nose.

Also, bring some water with you – I have a Camelbak (paid link) backpack that I fill with water before I leave the house.

9. Pick some flowers & put them in a vase or hang them to dry

On your walk, perhaps you will see some wildflowers or interesting leaves.

Why not take some home with you? You could pick a variety of flowers and greenery to put in a vase and enjoy at home.

Or, you could hang them upside down to create a dried flower bouquet like this one!

Another option for your self care Sunday is gardening. If you are lucky enough to have your own house with a yard, get out in the dirt.

Touching your bare feet to the soil is called “earthing” – it allows you to connect more directly to the earth’s energy.

I find this to be an excellent grounding technique that comes with a multitude of health benefits. Studies have shown that earthing:

• Regulates cortisol
• Improves sleep
• Neutralizes of free radicals
• Reduces of pain
• Promotes relaxation

10. Indulge in a special meal/dessert (especially chocolate!)

It’s certainly important to eat healthy, but it’s also good to indulge every once in a while.

Treat yourself to a special meal – especially a home cooked one. Make a tried and true “comfort meal” recipe or maybe try something new.

There are tons of ideas on Pinterest.

Also, don’t skip dessert today! Indulge your sweet tooth, especially with chocolate.

Dark chocolate has numerous health benefits and is one of the best foods for anxiety.  

11. Watch a TV show or movie/read a book

If you’re anything like me, you enjoy a good “binge watch”!

Whether it’s movies, Netflix shows or a book, spend some time mentally immersed in another environment. Take your mind off your personal struggles, worries, and “to-do” list.

You may not have time during the week to watch or read all the things you want to during the week, so take advantage of this self care Sunday and catch up.

Curl up on the couch with your comfy clothes and a cup of tea for a cozy, carefree and relaxing evening.

You’ll be glad you did once the week ahead gets into full swing.

Self Care Sunday Routine

12. Take an aromatherapy bath or shower 

Taking a hot bath or shower before bed can help you relax and have a peaceful sleep.

While you’re at it, why not incorporate aromatherapy for added health benefits?

Just make sure you are using essential oils and not fragrance oils or other products with toxic additives.

I make bath bombs, bath salts and shower melts with organic lavender, lemongrass, or peppermint essential oils.

They include skin-loving ingredients like coconut oil, kaolin clay and coconut milk powder and stress-reducing ingredients like Epsom salts, dead sea salt and pink Himalayan salt.

You could try making your own DIY bath bomb or shower melt on Saturday and then enjoy it in your bath/shower on self care Sunday!

*Be careful with commercial bath products – many of them contain SLS, parabens, polysorbate-80, mica, petroleum, phthalates, and other artificial ingredients.

13. Exfoliate & moisturize your skin/give yourself a pedicure

Now that your skin is softened from your bath or shower, it’s a perfect opportunity to show your feet some love.

I don’t know about you, but mine can get pretty dry, especially when I wear flip flops during the summer.

I exfoliate the bottoms of my feet with these purple pumice bars that I get from Sally Beauty supply. Then, I put on some lotion mixed with various oils like jojoba, raspberry, and rosehip.

(Use what you have, but again be careful with commercial products – read the ingredient list to make sure you’re not slathering chemicals all over your body.)

14. Cuddle & play with your pet

Animals set a good example for us about how to be more mindful and how to be content with the simple things in life.

This self care Sunday, take some time to observe your pet – watch how they relax, how they breathe, how little things bring them joy.

Cuddle with them, play with them, or simply do an activity around them (my cat loves it when I’m cleaning/organizing!).

If you don’t have pets, consider volunteering for an animal shelter. People and animals have so much to offer each other – especially in terms of companionship and stress reduction.

Or, consider donating (even small amounts help so much) to causes like Taki’s Shelter – one of my personal favorites.

This amazing guy Takis has dedicated his life to rescuing over 400 dogs and other animals. Check out his YouTube channel to see the heartwarming rescues and his huge, paradise on earth shelter.

15. Prepare for the week ahead (meal prep, organize & declutter, brain dump, etc.)

Preparing for the week ahead helps to ensure that things go as smoothly and as stress-free as possible.

Depending on your schedule, job, lifestyle, etc. this may include things like preparing meals for the week, organizing your home office, or picking out your outfits.

One thing I would recommend is doing a brain dump. If you’ve never done this before, you will probably be amazed at how cathartic it is!

Here’s the blog post with instructions on how to clear your mind with a brain dump and there are also brain dump worksheets in the Freebie Library to help you.

16. Listen to some relaxing music & do some deep breathing exercises

Did you know that music can change brain function as much as some medications?

It’s true! Certain frequencies - 432 Hz and 528 Hz – produce healing energy which helps to repair DNA, release emotional blockages, and promote relaxation.

But, even music not in those frequencies can have an effect on your emotional state. So, put on some music that you like and practice some deep breathing exercises while you’re at it.

I like to do box breathing, a technique used by the U.S. Navy SEALS in stressful situations.

Check out this video if you’d like to try it.

17. Focus on spiritual growth/personal development

The last idea I’m going to leave you with for your self care Sunday focuses on spiritual growth/personal development.

Is there anything that you are struggling with?

Maybe you have trouble controlling your emotions or forgiving those who have hurt you, or dealing with negative people.

Spend some time working on these things.

If you are religious, pray. If not, set some goals and maybe seek guidance on how to continue improving yourself and your life.

Here is a blog post I wrote on how to create your own personal development plan.

I hope these ideas gave you some inspiration for your self care Sunday!

What do you like to do for self care? Let me know in the comments.

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Last week, we discussed 33 Self Care Ideas for Stress Relief. 

This week, I wanted to dive deeper into one of those ideas - burning candles.

I recommend nothing other than beeswax candles.

One of my favorite things to do is make candles with beeswax. And given its many health benefits, I would never make my candles with anything else.

The commercial candles you buy from the store or online are usually made with soy or paraffin.

Many people assume (mistakenly) that soy candles are good for you because soy is a “natural” ingredient. And what the heck is paraffin anyway? 

Well, in this post we’re going to discuss beeswax candles vs. soy candles vs. paraffin candles so that you can make an informed decision about the type of candle you want to burn the next time you have a nice, relaxing self care evening. 

 Head over to the Freebie Library (a regularly updated collection of free downloadable self-help content) to download your Self-Care Worksheets.

The Health Benefits of Beeswax Candles

Many people enjoy lighting a candle, breathing in the soothing aroma, and basking in the glow of its amber firelight.

But there may be some serious dangers lurking behind that “soothing aroma”. Carcinogenic soot, toxins and lead emissions, anyone?

Ew, no thanks!

Unfortunately, many candles on the market today (Yankee Candle, Bath & Body Works, etc) are still unsafe and unhealthy despite their pretty colors and fragrances.

But, some types of candles are safer and healthier than others.

And there’s one type of candle that’s actually good for you – beeswax candles.

Are Beeswax Candles Safe?

Yes. They are environmentally safe, biodegradable, and non-toxic. Compared to soy or paraffin candles, beeswax candles produce very little smoke.

Are Beeswax Candles Healthy?

Yes. Beeswax candles are 100% natural and chemical-free. That’s because beeswax is created by bees, not laboratories.

Beeswax Candles Benefits Research

Researchers have found that there are many benefits of beeswax candles. They have the highest melting point of all waxes and therefore burn longer and drip less.

Beeswax Candles for Allergies & Asthma

If you suffer from allergies or asthma, beeswax candles may be the natural remedy you’ve been searching for!

Beeswax candles do not product soot or toxins and actually clean the air as they burn.

Beeswax Candles for Air Purification & Other Health Benefits

Unlike other types of candles, beeswax candles produce negative ions which cleanse the air of dust, pollen, bacteria, viruses, and other hazardous particles.

They also have many other positive effects, such as:

• reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety
• lowering blood pressure
• improving breathing
• boosting the immune system
• increasing metabolism
• regulating sleep
• boosting mood

Beeswax Candles with Essential Oils

Have you ever gotten a headache when you’re around scented candles?

Or perhaps you’ve experienced sneezing, difficulty breathing, blocked sinuses, itching, or rashes?

If so, you might be allergic to them. 

That’s because the synthetic fragrances found in commercial candles contain carcinogens and environmental toxins.

In fact, about 95% of chemicals used in synthetic scents are derived from petroleum. They have been linked to cancer, birth defects, central nervous system disorders, and allergic reactions.

It is much safer to burn an unscented beeswax candle, which is hypo-allergenic and gives off a natural, light honey scent.

Or, enjoy a beeswax candle scented with essential oils (instead of toxic "fragrance")!

Essential oils are extracted from seeds and plants, not petroleum.

They have numerous physical, emotional, and psychological benefits without all the unpleasant and unhealthy side effects.

Some of the Best Essential Oils for Beeswax Candles

For example, lavender essential oil is effective for:

• pain relief 
• antioxidant protection
• reducing stress
• supporting brain function 
• treating insomnia

Lemongrass essential oil is:

• antifungal
• anti-inflammatory
• antioxidant
• analgesic
• antimicrobial
• antiviral
• antidepressant

And peppermint essential oil is good for:

• treating nausea and other stomach problems
• supporting respiratory health
• increasing energy 
• enhancing mental focus

Are Beeswax Candles Vegan?

No.

Beeswax candles are not vegan because they are an animal byproduct. However, they are vegetarian because they do not contain any animal flesh.

Some vegans may be surprised to learn that many fruits such as avocados, cherries, apples, blueberries, oranges, kiwis, butternut squash, and pumpkins are pollinated by bees through a process called migratory beekeeping.

This type of exploitation, as well as taking beeswax from beehives, may not align with some vegans’ ethical rationale for being vegan.

Are Beeswax Candles Bad for Bees?

It depends.

In the past, beehives were destroyed in order to obtain beeswax. Some commercial operators still continue to take more beeswax than they should.

But nowadays, many beekeepers harvest beeswax in a cruelty-free way.

If done properly, no bees are harmed while extracting the beeswax and it is extracted in small amounts only when the bees have excess.

Are Beeswax Candles Sustainable?

Yes.

If beeswax is collected in a way that protects the integrity of the hive, then it is a sustainable, renewable product.

Also, beeswax never goes bad as long as it is not mixed with other ingredients like oils.

Soy Candles

Are Soy Candles Better?

Not really.

Some advantages of soy candles vs. paraffin candles is that soy wax does not produce the same black soot as paraffin candles.

And soy candles are biodegradable whereas paraffin candles are not.

But overall, I wouldn’t say that they are “better” for you.

Interestingly, most soy candles (even the ones claiming to be 100% soy) include at least a little bit of paraffin mixed in to strengthen the scent throw of the fragrance oils.

Also, soy candles are not good for the environment– much of soy production involves deforestation in the Brazilian Amazon.

But, are soy candles safe?

No.

They may be a more eco-friendly alternative to paraffin candles but by no means are they the safest option.

Although soy candles produce less soot and toxic chemicals than paraffin candles, they often contain many of the same poisonous dyes and synthetic fragrances.

Are Soy Candles Healthy?

Because soy candles are made from a “natural” product (soy), many people assume that they are safe.

But as of 2019, statistics show that 94% of US soybean crops are genetically modified organisms (GMO).

Soy candles may also contain UV blockers, phthalates, and other unnatural ingredients.

Many of these chemicals are not only harmful to us but also to our pets.

The toxic effects of these chemicals on animals like cats and birds are magnified due to their small size and sensitivity to smell.

Paraffin Candles

What is Paraffin Wax Made Of?

Paraffin is a petroleum byproduct.

It is created from the sludge waste that is produced when crude oil is refined into gasoline.

Paraffin has to be deodorized and bleached before it is made into wax.

Is Paraffin Wax Safe?

No.

Paraffin candles contain benzene and toluene, known carcinogens that release toxins when burned that are similar to diesel fumes.

Crude oil is an unsustainable, non-renewable resource that has already done a tremendous amount of damage to the environment.

Are Paraffin Wax Candles Toxic?

Yes.

Paraffin wax candles contain chemicals like formaldehyde (which is used in embalming).

They also produce soot, which can penetrate the lungs and cause cancer, emphysema, and other respiratory illnesses.

Dangerous Wicks

Also, some paraffin candles still have lead-containing wicks. Especially the ones that are imported from China and Hong Kong where the safety standards are much lower than in the US.

Health effects from prolonged exposure to lead include:

• depression
• irritability
• nausea
• memory loss
• heart disease
• reduced fertility
  

And according to the CDC, the body absorbs higher levels of lead when it is breathed in as opposed to being swallowed or absorbed through the skin.

Conclusion: Beeswax Candles Are the Best

Beeswax candles are non-toxic, chemical-free, and all natural.

They are produced from a vegetarian, sustainable, renewable resource and they are biodegradable.

They are hypoallergenic and the negative ions they produce help to clean the air.

Beeswax candles have a natural sweet honey scent and golden yellow color, making it unnecessary to use synthetic fragrances and dyes.

When lit, beeswax candles emit a golden glow which is brighter than any other candle.

And due to their high melting point, beeswax candles burn much longer – and cleaner - than soy or paraffin candles.

Beeswax candles for the win!

Did any of these facts about candles surprise you?

(For example, I was surprised that beeswax candles actually clean the air as they burn!) 

Let me know in the comments.

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